I Don’t Like Cricket
Oh no.
England have just won the cricket. I’m not into cricket at all. I don’t like a sport where you have to shave between innings, or where the crowd knows for a couple of hours that their team is 99 per cent certain to win. Or 1 per cent, but they turn up anyway, just in case.
Also, the game stops for the teams to have lunch. I think they should have a Christmas lunch. They should find the nearest gastro-pub and start off with a bottle of wine and the captain says a few words about how they have made great strides over the last year and how the next 12 months brings with it new challenges. Then the food comes and a few more bottles of wine, someone puts on a party hat and a few others follow suit. Then the manager suggests splitting the tab with his captain so it’ll get past expenses without raising any eyebrows.
After desert and a round of shorts, instead of sending the team back, they send a couple of people to cover and hope no one notices. Eventually they come back in small groups, so it doesn’t loook like they have just come back from lunch, and they check their emails and try to look busy before they emerge victorious in the game they were 99 per cent certain to win anyway.