This Is This

Daughter and Wife were ill with colds so me and Son looked after them.
Wrote a song called When You Fall, which you can find here.

I don’t like it when people give titles to their cats.

Examples of this include Mr. Tiddles, Captain Fluffy or Lord Mayor of Snowflake.

I have two cats with regular names Matthew and Willow, although Matthew is called Moo Moo by us. This is OK, because there are good reasons for them having these names, which I don’t need to go into here for fear of looking insane. I have already written too much about my cats on my website.

But cat owners, please, don’t try to dignify a name like Socks with the title “Dr”. And the prefix “Mr” can never make legitimate a name like “Twinkle”.

Humour me. I’m not an American football nut, but that’s probably because I had my heart broken 24 years ago when the Philadelphia Eagles lost the Superbowl to the Oakland Raiders.

I lived in Philly most of my childhood and was a Eagles fanatic in the only way that a nine-year-old can become obsessed by something. This was before the days of playstations and satellite TV, in a golden and probably non-existent age when kids took more of an interest in the world around them.

So cautiously I took an interest in NFL but only when the Eagles were doing well. A fairweather fan perhaps, but my toe never left the water. Any failure would bring back the disappointment I felt in that long cold winter of 1981.

But now, the hell with it. We might not win, but I’m watching. Everyone loses, but there are victories. Everyone dies but there is life. Everyone lands but there are eagles.

There is a place open by me called “Oi Bagel”.

This seems a little stereo typical, seeing as bagels are associated with Jewish communities and Jewish people are seen to say “oi” a lot as an exclamation of dismay. I got to thinking about “Yo Sushi” and wondered if it was so called because Japanese people said “yo” a lot.

What about:
Eh Pancakes
Right So Stews
*nonchalant shrug* Croissants
Cheers Fish and Chips

You know these people. I am kind of one myself, but tend to only keep vital details on mine. But people rely on them too much.

Cliff: “Jim! Hey Jimmy, how you doing?”
Jim produces Palmpilot and stylus and taps it a few times. He studies the screen and pauses.
Jim: “I need eggs.”
Cliff: “Great - ….so…… pint?”
Jim screws up face amid more tapping.
Jim: “Sounds good. What’s the postcode here?”

Is a Francophile someone that will only sleep with Spanish dictators?

I have one problem with reincarnation. It makes sense of the face of it and I get the whole bardo thing. But what happens when you think on a bigger scale about growing population? Where do the extra souls come from? Do they split?

Wherever you are, my man, I’m having a drink for you tonight. Take care. I wrote to your folks this week and wished them well and I wanted to do the same for you. Here seemed as good a place as any to send it.
Twelve years today, jesus christ.
Loved you, love you still.

Should I call D?
Not if she won’t tell me the other letters in her name.

I fall asleep in moving objects - always have. My dad used to joke that I was the worlds most easygoing travelling companion because as soon as the plane took off or the car started moving, I was out.

Last night I went out for a drink and fell asleep on the train. I woke up in a deserted Twyford at 11:30pm, but decided to keep going. I reckoned if I could get to Reading I’d have a chance of making it home.

This was Reading at midnight last night:
Freezing cold
Hangover kicking in early
Dodging young offenders who asked me for rizlas
Wondering whether to wake up painter bloke asleep on platform because if I didn’t then he would probably be spending the night there. (I didn’t in the end)
Dodging the train fair back towards London to get off at my stop.

I miss the kids because I haven’t seem them since yesterday morning and I’m back at work. Only sign of them were the sqirty dinosaurs which were in the shower this morning. I must leave on time tonight and stay awake on the way home.

Wife and kids crash in new car - stirred but not shaken, thank fuck. Started blog, banjo. Florida nice, Nice nicer.

This idea from meish.org - have a go yourself.

I’ve put off resolutions until now, because I’ve been on holiday breaking them.

There’s not much I do that’s really bad. I gave up smoking, I don’t eat meat, I swear a lot but I think that’s OK, I have friends I should call more often than I do, but I use my time well.

So here are but a few of the things I will resolve to do: (that’s resolve rather than actually achieve)

1. Become a better banjo player. This means practice.
2. Keep writing the book. At least two hours a month, so as to make progress and not obsess. I have trouble doing anything by halves.
3. Use the Japanese calligraphy set my wife bought be for Christmas 2003. I haven’t even opened it. She’s a good woman and I don’t deserve her.
4. Lighten up - try not to think bad thoughts.
5. Spend more time with my dad.
6. Paint the garden fences with that waterproof protector stuff.
7. Plant a plum tree in the garden.
8. Watch no reality TV whatsoever. This doesn’t include docos or News, but it does include drivel like What Not to Eat, Changing Organs, Back to the Plague, How Shiney is Your Heiney? and shows of that ilk.
9. Buy nothing on credit.
10. Use this (points to head) before opening this (points to mouth).

I’m in love

I don’t care about you.

Ditto.

Grey

Blue

I my last name were Miserables, I would definitey call my kid Les. Think of the merchandising - it’s already taken care of.