I do not have a loyalty card
I bought an egg sandwich and a cinnamon swirl (too much information) this morning and, as ever, the friendly cashier asked me if I had a loyalty card.
Again with the loyalty card thing! What is it with you people???? Everywhere I go: the garage, the supermarket, the coffee place, the travel agent (all right, airlines are ok, I guess), the car rental, the book store, everywhere - there is this obsession with loyalty cards. The answer, like it is every time you ask, is no. I might get a t-shirt made saying “I don’t have a loyalty card” and just shoot them a wry look when they ask anyway.
I don’t want to join your club, I don’t collect your points, I don’t want to have my card stamped with a little coffee cup and I don’t want your fucking stickers. There is enough in my wallet already. If I took advantage of every scheme going I’d have, I don’t know, like 58 cards.
Actually - why don’t I get 58 cards? Then when they ask me “Do you have a loyalty card?”, I can throw the entire stack at them and say “Yeah, it’s one of those.”
Anyway, Mister Supermarket man, I don’t have a loyalty card. In fact, I’m sorry you have to hear this from me, but I’ve been… well - I’ve kind of been seeing other supermarkets. No, you don’t know them, but what difference does it make? There’s this greengrocers by the train station. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been going on. Oh yeah? Well, I have it on good authority that you’ve been seeing other customers. How do you like that shit? And you know what? I’ve never been loyal - that’s why I duck the subject the card every time it comes up. In fact, if you must know, I’m a bit of a slut. I go to which ever supermarket is nearest me - and the cheaper the better.
February 22nd, 2005 at 6:04 pm
Heeeeeeee hee hee.
Have they started using the “keychain-swipe-card” thingy yet? I have a couple of those, but the stores got so tired of people NOT having the swipe cards that they now accept phone numbers.
Yes. You can rattle off your phone number and get all of your bonus points (or whatever they’re pimping out) without carrying a card or showing loyalty whatsoever.
But I still like the T-shirt idea.
February 23rd, 2005 at 8:48 am
Hi Bonnie - they do, but most cashiers don’t know how to use them, so you have to stand in ANOTHER line at customer services to get your points AFTER you’ve done your shopping.
To be honest, I get the loyalty concept, but I’m just not prepared for that kind of committment.
February 25th, 2005 at 9:02 am
Aren’t you MARRIED? That’s committed, baby!
February 25th, 2005 at 10:32 am
Yes but don’t I don’t tell the supermarkets about Mrs. This.
February 25th, 2005 at 11:02 am
Also - Bonnie - what’s the deal with your site? I can’t post a message. I have registered for the key thing but still can’t get on. You’re probably not missing out, but I am.
February 25th, 2005 at 6:37 pm
Yeah. Something’s wrong. I’m very not happy about that. Working on it. Hopefully admin Chip will have it fixed up before you feel inspired to try again. Thanks for attempting!! I AM missing out!
December 29th, 2006 at 8:18 pm
(acknowledging that I’m here almost 2 years too late). I, umm, have a confession to make. I read other blogs. Are they better? No. They’re just different. It’s not you, it’s me…