This Is This

It’s still snowing in London. Remember that no two snowflakes are the same, and if you think how many billions of snowflakes are falling right now around the world you kind of think that’s not the best use of God’s time.

Heaven (lunchtime)
God: One million seven hundred and twenty nine thousand four hundred and ninety two, one million seven hundred and twenty nine th-
St. Peter: Sir, you’ve got your twelve o’clock with Archbishop Tutu about the Unita rebel crisis in Angola.
G: Dammit Peter! Don’t you ever knock?
St. P: The gates were open, Sir.
G: I’ve lost my place! The Design team are on an off-site today so I’m working by hand and I’ve got a backlog of six figures here!
St. P: I understand, Sir, it’s just that half a million people have been displaced and UNHCR is warning of a colera epidemic.
G: Anything on the wires?
St P: Reuters aren’t running the snowflake thing, Sir.
G: Jesus Christ.
JC: What’s up?
(applause)
G: Call Larry King and tell him we’ll give him a scoop on the Second Coming for a puff piece on the snowflakes. Peter, you take Production - make sure that no two are alike. And call Reuters and say if they don’t play ball I’m giving the Pope thing to AP. And let Tutu know I’m running late.
St P: …bad weather’s got traffic backed the traffic up to Pergatory.
G: I like it.
St.P: Ah -Sir? We got a match…
G: Roll back!!!

Apologies if this affends anyone. I am a spiritual person myself in a loose sense and I am tolerant of all faiths. Apart from maybe Faith Hill.

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