Lyrical Crimes against the English Language
What if God was one of us?
Joan Osborne
Here the artist resorts to the past tense instead of using the subjunctive. She might mean “what if God were one of us”. This might encourage lay Christian to keep grounded in their faith. “Just a stranger on the bus,” she goes on, as if to encourage us that the Creator was just a regular person. A person on our route home, maybe even a neighbour. What if he called round when they get locked out? You’d offer him a cup of tea. You might be out of proper grown up biscuits. Does God like Wagon Wheels? Anyway, what the song is saying is “what if God was one of us”, in other words: he might have been, but he’s dead. It probably wasn’t God anyway. Probably just looked like him or something. So basically what we have here is: stranger on the bus dies. Shame, but not worth writing a song about, really.
The Wall
Pink Floyd
“We don’t need no education”
Actually you do. Not just because your grammar stinks and this is a doubt negative, but because you expressly say you don’t need no education, therefore I take it you do need at least some education. Members of Pink Floyd went to my school, so I have proof that they did have at least some education, but I say it’s good that they want to further their studies.
You Wanna Be Starting Something
Micheal Jackson
“..you’re stuck in the middle, and the pain is thunder.”
Michael’s just making up adjectives here. Let’s hope he does better when he takes the stand.
Prosecution: “Do you admit to sharing a bed with this boy?”
Jackson: “Yes.”
Prosecution: “And how did that make you feel?”
Defence: “Objection!”
Judge: “I’ll let the question stand.”
Prosecution: “Mr. Jackson, how did that make you feel?”
Jackson: (silent)
Judge: “Answer the question Mr Jackson.”
Jackson: “Thunder, you honour.”
Judge: “Let the record state Mr Jackson felt ‘thunder’.”
April 19th, 2005 at 4:06 pm
Well, if you want to get pedantic…
“What if he called round when they get locked out?”
Do you mean “What if he called round when they got locked out”?
But who are “they”?
;o)
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
April 19th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
… and just because I never know when to shut up…
“the pain is thunder”
I’m pretty sure there’s no rule which states the word “thunder” has to be an adjective. It doesn’t have to be qualifying the noun; it could be another noun.
“The pain is a bastard,” for instance.
Or, “The pain is murder.”
It’s a metaphor, and poetic licence allows for the dropping of the word “like”.
IMHO.
Doesn’t stop Jacko from being (probably) a nasty piece of work, though…
OK. Shutting up now.
April 19th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
“The pain is a bastard” I’ll give you. It’s a noun. “The pain was murder” - probably a noun again. Some words can be nouns and adjectives, like “fine” and “grand”.
Some words can be a nouns, verbs and adjectives, like “poo”. Eg: “the pain is poo.”
April 20th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
But thunder is also a noun. It has the same status as murder.
So what is your point…?
;o)
August 16th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
Hi - Although this has absolutely northing to do with the above discussion (except that it is grammar related), I wonder if anyone else will help me in my quest to educate people about the use of the word “basically”? I am so fed up with people who begin a sentence with “basically”, and then go on to describe something in great detail and at great length - a bit like me now I suppose. Basically,I just want people to use it properly!Anyone else agree?
August 16th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
It’s a good point Pam. I’m with you, anyway.