This Is This

So they’ve picked a new Pope and the name on everyone’s lips in the Vatican is Benedict XVI

ESPN: Batting Number 1 for the Roman Catholics is number 16 …………… Joseeeeeeeeeeeeeephhhhhhh Ratzingerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E!: Benedict, egged on by wellwishers in Vatican City, Italy, steps out in a silken red all-in-one with matching hat

The Guardian: Satan Slams Vatican Decision As “Fix”

BBC: New Pope Named: Benedict XVI

Variety: Masses of Masses for Masses

The Sun: Pope Smoke “Not a Joke”

Since I’m going to hell now anyway, our neighbourhood priest when I was a kid was called Reverend Ball. Later on in his career he became Cannon Ball. I think he should have walked up to the pulpit with The Breeders playing Cannonball over the PA, so like a boxer he could have his own theme tune playing when he goes to work.

I used to have a doctor called Doctor Burn, which I thought was a little cruel, like if your mechanic was called Michael Dent. In fact, what if your name actually hindered your choice of career? Like if your name was Peter Nosedive and you wanted to be a pilot. Or you wanted to be a proctologist and your name was the butt (sorry) of toilet humour jokes throughout your childhood.

Aside from that - nothing - but NOTHING - beats the name of someone I went to school with whose name was Anastasia Frisby. When your name is Jones, you can only be humbled.

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Instead of thinking “I am cold”, just try: “it’s cold.” It takes the focus off you but makes you part of the experience.
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 20th, 2005 at 8:32 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or leave a comment yourself.