This Is This

This site gets more searches on the subject of pikeys than anything else. I don’t know why this is, but type pikeys into yahoo.com and you’ll end up back here, or specifically, here.

Maybe I’m being watched by a pikey techno-elite scout patrol who call themselves the Broadband of Gypsies. They camp out in the lay-bys of the information superhighway, leaving a stream of broken links and unused fonts behind them when they leave.

Maybe I’ll wake up one morning and find a load of caravans parked up in the blank space under the nav bar. I’ll ask them to go to council webpages and set up there, but they would have done their homework and will tell me I don’t own the internet.

“Yeah, but this is my website,” I’d say.

“Technically it ain’t yours mister,” they’d say, because that’s how they all talk, “It belongs to Blogger, so it does.”

And they would have got me there, because they know the system, and probably the system administrator. Meanwhile, site in my links section gets offers to redo their templates while some of my jpgs mysteriously go missing. Coincidence, I think not.

Anyway, I’m digging a ditch around my frames, so don’t get any ideas.

Pikey Search sounds like a reality tv show where contestants from around the country compete to be selected to live the life of a genuine pikey. I can imagine you’d get Simon Cowel as the tough judge, saying, “I found your dog-on-a-string unconvincing, your drivewave paving was excellent and your children couldn’t even swear” and a whole host of sponsors waiting to cash in on 15 of fame enjoyed by the winner: Beanie Pikey dolls, Nike Pikey leisurewear, Hungry Hungry Gypos, etc.

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When my dad talks about first hearing Charlie Parker and it really means something. But I can’t imagine my kids saying: “Dad, tell us about the golden age of shoegazy intraspective guitar bands.”
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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 21st, 2005 at 8:52 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or leave a comment yourself.