The Ninja Footsave
April 25, 2005
Whenever I drop something, it is my natural reaction to throw my foot under the falling object to break its fall. This is known as The Ninja Footsave. It isn’t totally irrational; I have saved a few family hierlooms, bottles and keepsakes from shattering due to my quick-thinking footwork. Then, while the object is falling, the decision making process of whether or not to remove foot takes place. It goes like this:
1) Is Object valuable?
If 1 = no, remove Foot. If 1 = yes then do not remove Foot and go to 2
2) Will Object break when it falls?
If 2 = no, remove Foot. If 2 = yes then do not remove Foot and go to 3
3) Will falling Object break my Foot?
If 3 = no, remove Foot. If 3 = yes then see Appendix
Appendix
If both Foot and Object will break as a result the falling, then Foot has the right to withdraw without notice and will not be liaible for any damade caused to Object
This all happens at lightning speed. I am there in the moment, focused, knowing nothing but having wisdom. I am the object. I am the foot. There is no falling, there is only this moment.
But it takes me 15 minutes to read a bus time table.
4 comments
Never try a barefooted Ninja Footsave with a sharp kitchen knife. Very silly and very messy.
But I did prevent my 2 yr old boy from a nasty bump on the head when he fell off a park bench. The move was misinterpreted by a bystander who assumed I was giving him a kicking. My missus was suitably impressed though, and that’s the important thing.
Love the blog btw. Keep it up…
Mighty is the man who uses The Ninja Footsave on his child. One day he will repay you when you are old and weak and draw similar reactions.
My Ninja Footsave routines have failed over recent years. I now have had several foot injuries from worthless objects. The change set in at about 45 years of age.
And I thought I was the only one to do that… huh. Thanks for making me feel less special, you bastard.
Leave a comment. Play nice. I will turn this blog around.