Po(o)p Psychology
There’s a pop psychology adage which says “Do something everyday that scares you”. Like most of these phrases, this is total rubbish. It looks good on the wall of a telephone sales department, in Script font with a backlit picture of someone skydiving over the Grand Canyon, but this is essentially useless advice.
Lots of things scare me, including train surfing, which I’m not stupid enough to have done. But if I were stupid enough to consider it, I reckon a slogan like this would probably put the idea in my head. And as I clambered out the window of the 0703 into London Paddington, I would quote this advice to other people. Other stupid people might take this on board, and when they get to the office, they might have sex with that hottie in Facilities, or order oysters on a Monday. In February. In a Turkish restaurant. Then they would think they were really living, eh? For a while, anyway.
They could get that exploding space candy and swallow it with a whole can of Coke just to find out if the urban myth is true.
And take up base jumping, or shoot spitwads at the boss.
Stupid people take note, and I say this in a caring way, because I know that there are some stupid people who read This Is This. (not you, obviously, by the other guy - there was this one bloke in here yesterday, jeez….). Use your common sense when it comes to pop psychology. Make a stand for common sense.
“If you deserve it, it will happen” I deserve a round of applause. See? Nothing.
“You have the power to make your every dream come true”. What about the dream where I’m being chased in my socks by wolves around a kitchen table on a heavily polished tiled floor?
“You can’t make an omlette without breaking a few eggs” What about powdered egg? In fact, I’m pretty sure powdered eggs were around during rationing, before this adage was invented.
“Laughter is the best medicine” Unless you’re asthmatic in which case it’s Ventolin.
Use your common sense folks and doubt everything you hear. Today may be the first day of the rest of you life, but it’s also the last day of your history.*
*This is also stupid.