Instruments Of Torture
There are some things I don’t blog about and those are easy targets. Politicians for a start, and religion. And supermarkets. Another one is names of funny foods from other countries. Oh look, here’s a packet of cigarettes from El Salvador called P-Holes! Hilarious. “I’d like 20 P-Holes please.” zzzzzzzzz
Funny foods in your own country, though? Open season. Sainsbury’s stands accused of calling food by foreign names to make them sound tastier. Exhibit a yesterday when a slender French loaf was proudly labelled a “Pain Flute”.
And I’m off.
Now, to most people, this won’t look like “pain” as in “pain au chocolat”, this will look like pain. So Pain Flute looks like “flute of pain”, which sounds rude and sinister. I try to shut out nasty images of a sadistic James Galway (who actually looks like the bloke from the Joy of Sex books) performing bizarre rituals performed to the strains of Jethro Tull.
Sainbury’s should expand on the range, from Discomfort Piccolo straight through to Agony Bassoon. That brightened up my day. Everyone: fear the pain flute, for that be the flute of pain.
James Galway’s website is called superflute.com
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