This Is This

In my bathroom there are containers everywhere. I would like to point out that four of these belong to me: shaving foam, deodorant, moisturizer (what? so?) and aftershave.- that’s it. Yet most of the time the area surrounding the family sink looks like a travelling medecin show. There are tubes, vials, bottles, boxes and sticks of all manner of oils, potions and lotions.
Most of the time I don’t ask what does what, but every so often a new bottle appears. This week I noticed one and on the front under the brand name is said: “Now with breakthrough ingredient NuCellin.”

Breakthrough? When did ingredients aquire celebrity status? Was NuCellin saying to itself: “Right - I’m going to give it one more year, and if it doesn’t happen, I’m going to join Uncle Iodine’s accountancy firm?”

Do chemicals have agents? “There’s a new concealer which you’d be perfect for, babe. I really feel this is right for you.”

And just far would an ingredient go to breakthrough? Ingredient Big Brother? “Day 12, and Aloe Vera is in the Diary Room.”

The ingredient Oscars?

“…and the best use of an alcaline in the an antacid goes to …..’Rennie’!”

“Oh my God, I wasn’t expecting this. I would just like to say that none of this would be possible without calcium. Calcium, this one’s for you, hon. I love you chalk. And everyone at GSK for making it chewy. I’m just glad the industry is taking heartburn and trapped wind seriously after too many years of standing by doing nothing, leaving millions to avoid savoury snacks and some rich foods.”

It is a crazy madness that must end.

Joke of the day, by the way:
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
Because he kneaded a poo.

Also on This Is This
Me: “That’s exactly how much change I have in my pocket right now.”
I throw down the coins emphatically into the little tray thing.
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