This Is This

It’s a pain being back at work after a summer bank holiday, but yesterday was a beautiful day filled with the madness of London. Each of these is an entry in itself, but what the hell.

Here’s (”Here are”?) what I heard.

Two Cockneys
Bloke: Gaz got bottled (pr: boh-ouwd) this weekend.
Geezer: By ‘oo?
Bloke: Dunno. Called us from ‘ospituw and was all loik - “Just got boh-ouwd”
Geezer: Good. ‘ees a twat.

Values
Girl, 10: Do you know the shop “Office”?
Girl, 11: I know Office World.
Girl, 10: Office is like this designer shop which is like really expensive.
She closed her eyes and shook her head when she said “really expensive” to show this is a good thing.

Pricelessly Crazy
A guy in the street giving directions to someone down his mobile phone. He is using hand signals.

Racist?
Someone: Do you know who has bought the house next door yet?
Me: Only their name. Mr and Mrs Stevens from Ealing.
Someone: Oh, that sounds OK. I mean, at least they’re not, you know… Nothing funny about Stevens. You know. Stevens.

Also on This Is This
Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you’re asthmatic in which case it's ventolin.
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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 31st, 2005 at 8:21 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or leave a comment yourself.