Company Meeting
I was in a company meeting yesterday which was 5 hours long. After that amount of time, speeches just became a bunch of words.
To pass the time I set myself the challenge of writing an alternative speech. To make it more interesting I had to stick to the following rules:
1. I can only use the words and phrases used by the speakers.
2. I can only write my speech while the speakers were giving their presentation. Everything would have to be done “as live”.
3. The words and phrases I write can only be used in the order in which they were spoken by the speaker. I can only splice words out, but I can not rearrange the order of their words.
4. The only editing I am allowed to add is punctuation.
I have no idea why I do these things. I am a word geek.
Here’s the end result:
In 1991, we released 7 billion shareholders. They weren’t hugely sexy. Some will die. Mistakes happen, but the price is very high. It’s a challenge to us all.
This is a little bit amazing: I have never worked. I want to have a life. It’s easy. I try to be a champion, but let’s make it clear: I am in the process of moving to a world with values. And I will drive it back by Q4 2006.
This will not be easy, because it is a new territory and there is very little time.
I have set myself a deadline of four weeks and we’re going to have to do it with sticky tape, slashing members and cutting through roadmaps, driving across the people ahead. You’ll be able to flex your package. It has to work in France and people have to see it.
I want to drive it as far as I can. To the market if necessary, where we can sell the UK.
Thank you.
September 24th, 2005 at 1:55 pm
Those are the best five-hour-meeting minutes EVER!
September 24th, 2005 at 10:38 pm
You’ll be able to flex your package. - ha ha ha ha ha.
Very VERY funny.