This Is This

David Letterman said the finest moment in all of rock and roll was the bit in Mott the Hoople’s All The Young Dudes where the singer says: “Hey - dudes! Where are ya?”

That, he says, is rock’s finest hour. All other moments in the history of modern music don’t match that part of that song. I like the thought that you can take something out of context and put it under a microscope of reverence but that’s not how it works.

I once saw something in a newspaper where they took the best parts of Hollywood’s leading women and photoshopped them to make one face. They had something like Nicole Kidman’s eyes, Drew Barrymore’s lips, Meg Ryan’s nose, Demi Moore’s neck and Catherine Zeta Jones’s cheeks. Or something, I can’t remember. But the interesting part was, she wasn’t all that. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t climb over her to get to you, but she was just OK, you know.

You know that thing that they say about the band in heaven? You’ve got Jimi Hendrix on guitar, Jaco Pastorius on bass, Keith Moon on drums and Aretha Franklin singing. Well, if they ever did hear them jam from beyond the grave, I bet would be good, but not great.

Because it’s the average that makes the good stand out. People are beautiful because they have enough of the ordinary to make the beauty stand out. Things aren’t exceptional despite the mundane, they’re exceptional because of it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it a while.

It’s the same with life and the stuff in it, the parking space right by the entrance, the days where not much happens, the songs on your ipod. You’ve got to have the filler tracks and days like these for the other ones to be something else.

Caitlin Moran (Jesus Christ I’m quoting Caitlin Moran) said that Dave Gilmour had the best arms in rock. I never noticed it before, but you know, he did some nice arms. But then if he had a body like Brad Pitt, you wouldn’t notice.

I’m not gay, or anything.

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