This Is This

On the way home from work every day, I wait at a bus stop with four or five other guys and talk bollocks as we watch the cars go past. Here is somesuch:

Guy 1: You always see people using their mobile phones when they drive.

Guy 2 I think the levels are back up to before they introduced the law?

Me: Not surprising. I mean does anyone know anyone that’s actually been nicked for using a phone in the car?

Guy 3: They could use those handsets.

Me: Yeah, but then you’ve got the wires and everything. When my phone rings, I just answer it and tell them them to be quick.

Guy 2: You’ve got Bluetooth headsets

Guy 1: Yeah, but then you look like a dickhead.

Me: True. You walk around looking like you’re on the phone on the offchance that someone might ring.

Guy 3: Nevermind bluetooth, where’s the bus? That’s the kind of technology I need.

Guy 2: We should do away with buses and be able to ride waves.

Guy 1: What? Light waves?

Guy 2: Or sound waves. That would be easier.

Guy 3: Or we could use the sky, like in The Fifth Element.

Me: It always gets me in films like that where you have sky traffic five lanes high like in the new Star Wars. How do they drive without crashin when there are no markings or signs?

Guy 1: Well, it’s GPS, isn’t it?

Me: Oh.

Guy 2: Sod that, they should invent flying people.

Me: Yeah. They should invent flying people and we could ride them to work.

Also on This Is This
I bought some petrol for the car today. I had a fiver on me, so I wanted to put five pounds in. I overshot it and ended up with £5.09, but it was nine pence worth of levity.
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