Cool And The Avoidance Thereof

So we’ve learned that cool exists (see Monday), the uncool can be cool (see Tuesday), and I am not cool (see me). But sometimes cool should be avoided, or at least the attachment to cool.

I sometimes try not to be cool. For example, if I am at a party and I am walking somewhere, it might happen that I find myself walking in time with the music. I realise this might make me look like I’m trying to walk in a cool way, so I take an extra half step just to break out of sync and go back to being kind of awkward me, which I know I am. Stepping to the beat looks like I’m trying not to look like my goofy old self, and that’s not cool. It would be like if I called all of my son’s five year old mates “dude”.

There is a formula that Not Cool trying to be Cool equals extremely Uncool. If you don’t got it and you act like you do, then you are The Eagles.

Sorry, my friend, someone had to say it.

Other attempts at not looking cool happen when I am driving around the charming leafy Berkshire village where I live with Public Enemy playing. Lyrics and phat (oh yeah…) beats blazing, I cruise past the Post Office as an old lady walks in front of me to cross the street.

I’m ’bout ready to bounce. Trouble on the corner with a blunt and a fourty ounce.

She looks at me.

Madd uncivilized lifestyles. 30 years bids for kids, now thats wild

I wave her on. She’s probably off to buy sweets for her grandchildren. Nice.

I’m raising my child, I’m stepping to the curb with a sign “Do Not Disturb”

She crosses in front of me.

Too much “don’t give a fuck for a damn thing” but choose what the other man bring.

Nice wave and smile.

I sing a song cause I see wrong. God damn right.

I hope she’s OK with the curb on the other side. It looks a little high.

I’m not down with the Fee Fi Fo, where I come from, see, the brothers ain’t dumb.

She’s crossed and gives me half a wave and a three quarter smile. I hope she has a nice day.

What good is the hood if you’re acting the fool. So watcha gone do now?

I consider buying the new David Gray CD.

Related links:
The Last Word In Cool
Uncool In Isolation
Cool By Uncool
Cool Week