The Coolest Thing, But Help Needed
I got a Christmas card over the weekend from my neighbour Tony. I have spoken to him a few times and we’ve even been round for drinks at the house of another neighbour. He’s got two great kids and a lovely wife. I went across to his house one time in the dead of night to check up when I heard their burglar alarm going off. He probably thinks I am a nice guy, which is why he sent the card. In all, I’ve known him in a wave-and-keep-driving capacity for about 7 years.
The Christmas card was delivered by hand through the door with our names on it. I tell a lie - it had my wife’s name on it (let’s call her “Wife”), but it said “To Nelson & Wife, have a very Merry Christmas.”
That’s right, Nelson.
He thinks my name is Nelson. All the times I have spoken to him, he thought he was talking to Nelson. He’s probably joked about how we should have named our son Half-Nelson. He’s probably said to his wife, “You know we should have Nelson and his family over.”
Uh oh. He’s probably said to his wife, “You know we should have Nelson and his family over.”
What do I do if he asks? He’d be horrified that he addressed me as Nelson. He’d never pass it off as a lapse. “Oh, I was writing a card to my cousin. His name in Nelson and he looks just like you.” No one in England knows anyone called Nelson. How do I let him know? Do I send a card back from “Cliff and Wife”, or is that rude?
Or should I just go with Nelson and save him the embarrassment? That could be risky. A true Nelson wouldn’t shy away from risk, but I’m a Cliff. Cliffs aren’t traditionally risk takers.
What do I do? The lines are open.
December 20th, 2005 at 10:38 am
You send back a card, b/c you’re cordial.
You sign it “Cliff* and wife,” because you’re accurate.
And then you resolve the * thusly:
*AKA Nelson (No offense, truly. Just wanted you to know my given name. We’ll get together and call one another Nelson someday. And we’ll laugh.)
December 20th, 2005 at 10:51 am
That is so American and the right thing to do.
The English way would be to put the kettle on, twitch in my seat, make a joke about it and put off doing anything until it becomes really uncomfortable.
But you are right.
December 20th, 2005 at 11:49 am
“from my neighbour Tony”
Stop pinching my act.
December 20th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
Haha - I thought of you when I wrote this. You don’t have the monopoly on Tonys, or on catering staff with excellent elocution.
CliffyJ
(readers: no one does real life better than http://jonnybillericay.blogspot.com/)
December 20th, 2005 at 6:37 pm
Stick with Nelson, send a card back from this Nelson, grow this other person, nurture ‘him’ and then, when the heist goes down you’re in the perfect position if you get nabbed by the rozzers.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:46 pm
Maybe your real name *is* Nelson. Ever thought about that?
:)
Hehe … but that could be a weird situation …
Anyway Happy Holidays!
~ J
December 21st, 2005 at 4:28 am
Be partly American and partly British!
A card signed Cliff/Nelson.
A hybrid solution. Squirm afterwards waiting for his responce. Satisfies all.
December 21st, 2005 at 9:52 am
The English thing to do to avoid any embarrassment is to change your name by deed poll. Or move. Easy!