This Is This

They’re a funny thing, backing vocals. Backing vocals are like office receptionists. When they are good you barely notice them, but when they are rubbish, boy do they stand out.

There are plenty of bad bvox examples.

Bonnie Tyler - Holding Out For A Hero
This sounds like the equivalent of a slave hoard being forced to sing. I guess it’s the overbearing Wagnerian Viking divadramafest style of the song. I have an image of a whole slave chorus rowing a longboat with behorned Bonnie Tyler standing over them with chromium busom and bullwhip. She is Welsh, after all.

Ooooh ooooh ooooooh OOOOOOOOHH!
Ooooh ooooh ooooooh OOOOOOOOHH!
Ooooh ooooh ooooooh OOOOOOOOHH!
(Crack!) AHHHGGHHH!!!!
(Crack!) AAAAAHHHHGGHHH!!!!

Anything by Gilbert and Sullivan
And because of them, most chorusline musicials.

Pirates of Penzance, for example:

General: “In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General.”

All: “In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, he is the very model of a modern Major-General.”

This happens countless times in Gilbert and Sullivan operas. At first it annoyed me, but now I think there may have beem something wrong with WS Gilbert. Maybe he thought this was normal and as he went about his business in his daily life, and he actually heard a chorus of voices reaffirming everything he said.

Gilbert: “OK, I’ll meet you at Drury Lane Theatre for my show which starts at eight.”

Chorus (in his head): “He will meet you at Drury Lane Theatre for his show which starts at eight!”

Gilbert: “The traffic will be murder so you better not be late.”

Chorus (in his head): “Murder! Murder! Murder and hate! The traffic will be murder so you better not be late!”

It’s a terrible situation and I should be more sympathetic. But it worked fine when Queen did the Bohemian Rhapsody backing vocals. Sorry, I mean the BoRap bvox.

Take That - Pray
This is all backing vocals in the chorus. In fact, the lead vocalist is filling in the backing. What’s that about?

Take That: “All I do each night is pray.”

Gary Barlow: “Ooooh pray.”

Take That: “Hoping that I’ll be a part of you again someday.”

Gary Barlow: “Sooooome daaaay.”

It’s backwards and wrong, I tell you.

Tomorrow: Good backing vocals, obviously

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