This Is This

Life skills, I’m talking about. Things than directly help you in the day to day. I’m not talking about juggling (although I am great at juggling). I had to choose these carefully, so as not to point out things that make me selectively look too much like I rock (although I am great at rocking).

Not Being Clumbsy
I am, without a doubt, the least clumsy person you could ever met. I never drop anything, I rarely spill and my recoverey rate is second to none (see the ninja footsave). Maybe I take too much care and attention over everything I do, but I hardly ever stumble, falter, cack-handle or hamfist. I am the anti-clutz.

Put Up Shelves
Oh I can put up some fucking shelves. I can tell if something’s not dead flat without using a spirit level. I’m quick, too, and I enjoy it, even the cleaning up. It’s probably the only ever time I dust. And when I’m done, I have to put something on the shelf. Anything will do, but when I do - there’s the feeling. I have a unhealthy fascination with drill bits. I have two power drills, I know my hammer setting from my rotary and I can put shelves up on everything, pefect, every time. Tiles on 50mil pasterboard? Stand aside, it’s going to be all right.

Sense Of Direction
I have an insane sense of direction. I can read the sun and the stars, but mostly I just know where I am. I could explain this further, but I’d be going round in circles. Not literally, because I never do that.

Laugh
Funnily enough (or not) I don’t find jokes funny. Mostly they are unfunny, so it’s more like relief when they are. I laugh at the day to day stuff. You know, I say something, then you say something else then I say that thing that sounds funny.

Sleep/Not Sleep
I can sleep anywhere and through anything if I want to. I can also sleep for short amounts of time and wake up myself up when I’m needed. I can get ten minutes of decent sleep between train stops and feel good afterwards. I can also not sleep, if I want to. I rarely need more than six hours and can get by on four if I need to.

Also on This Is This
“The TV and everything goes through the sound system. You can’t listen to the stereo and watch TV at the same time. If you want to listen to actual CDs, you have to turn the TV off. Except we don’t have CDs. Dock the i-pod into the TV and run that through the stereo.”
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