Dial D For Dufus
My coincidences have turned nasty!!!
I have lost my phone. In ten years the ten years since I have owned a mobile phone I have never lost one. Then I post one little entry about a guy throwing his phone out the window and I lose mine two days later..
Yes, I have checked on my desk. Yes, I have checked the pockets of the clothes I wore and the floor of my closet.
Yes, I have walked round the house calling it to see if I can hear it. I even borrowed Wife’s phone and went out to the car and called it from there. And someone saw me walk out to my car to make a phone call in it like a stange man.
People have asked me: “Have you tried ringing it?”
What does that mean? What do you mean “tried”? I know they mean well, but ringing takes no effort. I don’t have to try at all. Calling a phone is easy, and that’s not the issue. Focus for god’s sake, I’ve lost my phone.
I have called the police because insurance only pays up if you report it stolen and they took my details and phone number. Then the constable said: “And do you have a mobile number at all? Um. No, hang on, that’s not right. Er - sorry about that…”
I am going on holiday in a few weeks for a few weeks and I am looking forward to it being very quiet. Work has been getting on top of me and I need silence and darkness. Real darkness, not suburban glow. I want real quiet and black skies. I want nights so dark the wind gets lost.
And I want a phone. Oh, and a million used helicopters and a pound.
March 23rd, 2006 at 10:53 am
Why do you need a million used helicopters and a pound?
March 23rd, 2006 at 11:24 am
Typo.
I’ve changed my order.
I meant a million pounds in used notes and a helicopter.
Well spotted Ed.
March 23rd, 2006 at 1:09 pm
You really don’t need to worry, you know- I don’t have your cel number;)
‘NIghts so dark the wind gets lost’- that’s brilliant, you know. I am going to steal it.
March 23rd, 2006 at 1:18 pm
Such a great post, I’d swear you wrote it with a pencil.
March 23rd, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Oh, and you should take this survey.
March 24th, 2006 at 4:34 am
I was wondering what on earth you’d be doing with a million used helicopters (and only a pound for all the petrol!).
You sound like you need a break, glad you’ve got one coming soon.
March 27th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
My lawyers are watching, you know.
I’m a bit behind. You might never see this comment…
March 28th, 2006 at 9:12 am
You know every time I do something hapless and it turns out funny, I think “Is this too much like JonnyB?”
I can’t start any posts with “The phone rings” or any short catchy intros.
If you want to get the lawyers involved, then bring it on. You lay off Buddhism and bittersweet introspective alt-folk with country overtones and I’ll leave out the builders.
Also, I think you’ll find I had a daughter THREE years before you.
March 28th, 2006 at 11:51 am
Dammit you have cornered the daughter market.
I write mine and always think: ‘is this too much like Instapundit Glenn Reynolds’?