Hats All For Now
I’m not sure, but I’ll bet one of the best things about getting old, right up there with getting to develop adult relationships with your children, is hats.
I went to a shop the other say and tried on a couple of hats and they felt good, but I thought “Really, am I going to wear this?”
See, if you put on a hat, suddenly you’re this guy wearing a hat, you know what I mean? If a friend below the age of 60 comes up to you and you’ve never seen them in a hat before, I bet you think, “Oh, look, it’s Steve. In a hat.”
Then Steve’s going to get this whole conversation about the hat and he’ll be thinking “Under this hat is a human being with a beautiful head - can we move on?”
Well, despite looking good in a hat, I don’t want to be Steve. Fifty years ago, anyone could be Steve. In fact, people might have met a hatless Steve and said “Hey Steve, why no hat?” But now, forget it. Wear a hat and you have elements of stevishness.
I bought one anyway. An outdoorsy cap thing that keeps the sun out of my eyes. One of the downsides of being colourblind is that my eyes are super sensitive in the light. This is great at night, I have superhero night vision, but in bright daylight I squint like Harry from Third Rock.
Trouble is my hat matches my coat. I discovered this after I got home, because I went out without my coat and I mean it really matches. It looks like I made a real fashion commitment, hatswithstanding, which makes me feel uneasy.
It’s like when you walk at a party (I don’t know, a Walking Party, OK?) and find you are stepping in time to the music. It looks too self-conscious even if you don’t mean it to be. It looks like you are The Man, or you are trying to be The Man. Worst still, everyone thinks that you think you are The Man and they know that everyone knows you aren’t.
I don’t want to be The Man. I just want to be this guy. I don’t want to stand out too much. I don’t want to be someone who marches to the beat of a different drum or anything. Me, I’m happy just walking along, and if I notice that there’s a drum playing somewhere and it’s not bothering anyone - well then that’s all right with me.
Take care everyone, I’m going away for a while to watch the wind get lost.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:28 am
Huh’? WHat? Was it something I said?
How long is ‘a while’?
Dammit. I hope you get that CD sometime soon.
March 29th, 2006 at 8:51 am
I struggle with hats. If I wear one I feel like a right twat. My wife swears blind that it suits me, but she obviously has no taste becasue she married me.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:34 pm
Hats off!
What caught my eyes:
[..] One of the downsides of being colourblind is that my eyes are super sensitive in the light. This is great at night, I have superhero night vision, but in bright daylight I squint like Harry from Third Rock. [..]
I am colorblind to but definitely do not have a superhero night vision. What kind of color blindness do you suffer and how do you know if this is connected to your bad vision in bright daylight?
Would be very interesting to here some more about that.
March 30th, 2006 at 12:37 am
I wear something like a tea-cosy when it’s bitterly cold (as I’m bald on top). My mother-in-law knitted it for me a few years ago, and I look daft wearing it (worse than Benny in Crossroads).
I imagine you walking like John Travolta to the party music, in time with the beat, and in a sexy manner.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:59 pm
I’ve lost two hats in the past month, so now when i walk into a walking party people say “Where’s your hat?” and I say “I lost one running away from a Polish girl I went on a date with, and the other on the 1.35pm train from Honor Oak Park to Balham”. I’m precise like that.
I think you should go with the fashion statement. Perfect matches are in this year.
March 31st, 2006 at 7:31 am
This is why I try not to wear hats.
March 31st, 2006 at 8:27 am
I don’t have a hat, but I do have a cat. Hat’s showbizness!
March 31st, 2006 at 2:37 pm
Do baseball caps count? Or, if you want, I have a cap from the Dublin cricket club..