This Is This

On top of international terrorists, one of the most annoying people you will encounter on holiday is the Little Madam. This is a posh spoilt girl younger than ten who likes to tell your kids how great she and her family are while putting down them and yours.

Some things Little Madam says (always in a conceited indignant tone slightly louder than it needs to be, behind a veil of contempt):

“You know that film on the plane on the way here? No, not Zorro, it’s called Legend of Zorro. You know that one? I’ve seen it five times. How many times have you Ice Age?” etc…

“Mummy, I want more calamaris.”

“I once saw a stingray that was as big as this pool and it wasn’t in the London Aquarium either, which I’ve also been to. It was in the wild and my dad swam right next to it.”

With love in my heart, I’m saying learn how the world works and drop the act, missy. You’re annoying people and will only make yourself unhappy.

Also on This Is This
I think it’s disgraceful. I heard that on the way in and I was so angry I texted both Radios Four and Five.
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