Vesak And The Art Of Changing Tyres

I spoke at my daughter’s school this morning. I’m sitting here writing this in a garage (new laptop, go me, new laptop, how you doin’) while they put new tires on my car. I thought I would get them changed while I had a day off. Kill two birds with one stone. Not literally – that would be wrong. Unless they were tofu birds, maybe. Actually – bean-curd animals? That’s not right.

“So who here has a pet?” I ask.

The room bristles with little arms. I’ve been asked to talk about Buddhism to my daughter’s class or five and six year olds. It’s Vesak, the day Buddhists celebrate the birth, enlightenment and passing of Buddha.

They talk a little bit about their pets, except for one little man who wants to tell me about his Power Rangers.

“And what do you do to look after your pets?” I ask.

“I stroke my cat. He’s called Jet,” says a girl with pigtails.

“I have four pets and I sometimes feed them,” says the boy, who is also wearing a Power Rangers t-shirt.

Me: “And when you’re kind to them, they’re nice back to you, aren’t they?”

Nods and shuffles.

“And say you’ve had a bad day and you’re grumpy and it’s raining outside and you’re stuck in the house and your bored and there’s nothing on Ceebeebies. And you’re so grumpy that your pet comes up to you and you push him away. How does your pet feel?”

“Grumpy,” says one.

“Sad,” says another forlornly.

“Well, that’s karma,” I say and explain a bit about how kindness brings good things and being harmful brings sadness.

“I was walking my friend’s dog and I was being nice and it bit me,” says Pigtails.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say, a little stumped.

There’s a brief silence before it hits me: “When the dog did something mean, that hurt you and you didn’t want to play with it any more.”

She nods.

“And that made both of you sad. Your friend’s dog has to remember to be kind to you, too. ”

She smiles.

You know some days where you just keep rolling sixes? I swear today is one of those.

“So is it better to be happy or sad?” I ask.

There’s a chorus of “HAPPY!!!!!”

“And it’s hard to be kind all the time, but on Vesak we remember to be nice because for all living things, everything we do, everything we say and everything we think can make other people sad or happy.”

A gleam of perfect and gappy smiles is my cue to dive for the props and show them pictures of temples and monks. The kids pass around the prayer flags and mala beads while I talk about kindness and fumble them during their turns on the meditation stool.

The teacher asks my daughter and me about the flags and where they go in our house. “By the window,” she says.

I’m halfway between my (probably annoying) informative voice and the one I use to talk to my daughter. It’s hard to find a tone when a grown up asks both you and your little kid something, but I say: “You have to set them up where they can blow in the wind.”

Daughter and teacher nod at each other in slightly different ways.

It’s gone well, including the story of Buddha’s life. Prince meets girl, prince gets married, prince sees sad/sick people, prince leaves girl, prince finds a way to end human suffering. (Actually, it’s about the acceptance of suffering, but, hey – they’re five.)

I didn’t know it until this morning, but being applauded by a group of five year olds while your kid beams at you is one of the best feelings you can have.

The teacher asks the class what they could do to be kind and the kids suggest sharing sweets with people who don’t have them, helping mum and dad with washing up and keeping their rooms clean.

“And that will make your mums and dads happy and they will be nicer to you,” I say.

Wife banned me from telling the ice-cream impermanence story (eat the ice-cream, nothing lasts but you can enjoy it). “Keep it light,” she said, and she was right, so after the talk they colour in thankas (wall-hangs with Buddhas and symbols like eternal knots on them)

While they were drawing I walked around the classroom and they kept running up to show me their drawings.

The boy from before asks me: “Is playing Power Rangers a kind thing to do?”

He had mentioned that he was going round his friend’s house that night. He looks worried that he might not be able to play because I’ve been talking about how today is a day we have to be kind.

Me: “Hmmm – Space Patrol Delta or Dinothunder?”

Boy: “Dinothunder.”

Me: “No, you’re fine there.” I screw up nose and nod at him. I do the ruffly hair thing that dads do. “So long as you play kindly.”

He smiles and goes back to colouring.

Afterwards, the teacher, her assistants and I clean up and put the chairs away while the kids put their drawings in their bags and head out to play.

I’m putting my stuff in the box when teacher picks up the wooden statue of Buddha. “Where do you keep this in your house?”

Me: “Oh, that goes by the back window.”

Teacher: “And is there a significance to that?”

“Oh yeah,” I say. “It looks good there.”

She smiles and I smile back.

And that’s it. Lots of nods and smiles. A happy day.