This Is This

You know, it’s funny. It’s a strange thing writing this some days. Depression is kicking my ass at the moment. Or maybe not, because that’s not fair on people who can’t face getting out of bed, but right now I’m like: “There’s a lining? Good for clouds.”

These are the sunniest days of the year, I have a loving family and I’m in a creative slump perhaps, but nothing’s really wrong. Guess that’s just the way it shows itself and always has. Maybe not depression. Melancholia maybe. On the downturn. Between the moon and New York City. Whatever you want to call it. I’m OK - I’m just hardly dancing a jig over here.

If I could put my finger on it, I’d say I’d like to be in a position where people say about me: “Oh yeah, him - he’s that guy who…” but I can’t finish the rest of the sentence. If I could maybe I’d feel better, although there’s the double-edged thing of not actually wanting to be “the guy who”. Although it might be cool for a bit.

So to bloggers the web over:

It’s not enough to have talent these days.
It’s not enough to have skills.
It’s not enough to be kind to all things.
It’s fame that pays the bills.

Your turn of phrase alone won’t help.
Your cheques will only bounce.
Your wisdom will not help you eat.
It’s being known that counts.

Although the planet’s infinite,
you’ve only got your quips.
The world becomes your oyster
once your name is on their lips.

But while the fruit tree stays in shade,
these thoughts go into blue.
The more I say about myself
the more I fade from view.

Also on This Is This
When my dad talks about first hearing Charlie Parker and it really means something. But I can’t imagine my kids saying: “Dad, tell us about the golden age of shoegazy intraspective guitar bands.”
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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 6th, 2006 at 8:41 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or leave a comment yourself.