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Second Paragraph Illustrative - Answers »

Second Paragraph Illustrative

There’s a journalistic convention you see all the time where hacks give people little monikers to avoid saying their name twice in quick succession.

For example:

Sir Paul McCartney has addressed rumours that he is blah blah blah blah.

In a statement spelt out entirely in Twiglets, the former Beatle denied that blah blah blah blah.

I don’t know if there’s a term for it, but I’m calling it the Second Paragraph Illustrative.

Kylie Minogue’s is “the brave Aussie popstar”. Madonna’s is (still and yawn) “the material girl”.

I saw one about Christina Aguilera which ran on AP, saying “the dirty singer blah blah blah…”

Yeah. Without a capital “D” or a double “rr” like the song, just a “dirty singer”. Mucky.

So here are some SPI’s for you to guess and play along at home.

  1. “…the gold-digging monopod…”
  2. “…the angel-voiced, sailor-mouthed Welsh tart…”
  3. “…the rubbery-faced Canadian funnyman…”
  4. “…the former Goody turned naturalist…”
  5. “…the monobrowed indie hasbeens…” (double points!)
  6. “…the rugtopped property mogul…”
  7. “…the fat-toungued mockney cunt…”
  8. “…the creepy bankrupt king of pop…”
  9. “…the curly, wheezing folk icon…”
  10. “…Manchester’s potato-faced judas…”

Answers tomorrow

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 5th, 2006 at 11:38 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or you can skip to the end and leave a comment yourself.

9 Responses to “Second Paragraph Illustrative”

  1. Ed R Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:33 am

    I don’t think Sir Paul McCartney’s all THAT blah.

  2. JonnyB Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:31 am

    Number eight is Jonathan King. No!!! It’s Gary Glitter. No!!! Michael Jackson.

  3. JonnyB Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:36 am

    Is number three Conrad Black?

  4. Magpie Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    No.4! Bill Oddie! (My goodies obsessions finally pays off…)
    no.1 heather mills, no.2 charlotte church (yes, I’m picking the easy ones)

  5. * (asterisk) Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:34 pm

    Are we guessing? Here? Can I have a go? Go on, I like testing my mettle…

    1. Heather Mills
    2. Charlotte Church
    3. Jim Carrey
    4. Bill Oddie
    5. The brothers Gallagher?
    6. Donald Trump
    7. Jamie Oliver
    8. Jacko
    9. Bob Dylan?
    10. Bez? Shaun Ryder? Who knows…

  6. Cliff Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    * - Dix points! Think sport for the last one.
    Magpie - Number 4 was a gift. :) Well done on the other two.
    Jonny - I’ll give you Conrad Black. I would also have accepted Ben Johnson, Alanis Morissette or Leonard Cohen.

  7. Chris Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:27 pm

    Is the last one Wayne “Wazza” Rooney?

    Loving the blog btw!

  8. Cliff Says:
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    Hi Chris - thanks very much and welcome. Nav bar’s over there. You got archives and things. Give me a shout if there’s anything I can do. Make yourself at home(page)* (arf).

    I can tell you you got one right. I am a bitter Evertonian with a drudge and a blog. Don’t you judge me.

    *You break, you buy.

  9. Murphy Says:
    September 7th, 2006 at 9:41 am

    An Evertonian with a drudge??

    Leave our spud faced granny-bothering nipper alone. He’s busy colouring in another picture for his autobiography.

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