Just A Coffee
I drink my coffee black. Often when I ask for coffee I have to ask for no milk. I don’t know why this is. Plenty of people drink coffee. Most of the people in the world have it black, but when I ask for coffee in a shop in England it often comes with milk in.
So I play this game. If a shop wants to extort more than £2.75 (about $4US) out of me for a cup of hot beans, then I will just ask for “Coffee. Please.”
Then when it comes with milk, I give them the big fuck you.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t want milk.”
Then they roll their greedy little eyes and say: “Well then you have to ask for no milk.”
Why? Do I have to tell people what I don’t want now?
“Coffee, please. But no milk. Or war.”
Fuck you.
Oh, sorry.
Fuck you with no milk.
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“You don’t understand your power over the common man,” said Alistair Campbell.
The words seemed to echo endlessly around their cell. Digging a tunnel had proved fruitless and oddly phallic. Finding a vein had been the laborious task ahead, but they opted to forge ahead while singing “We
2 comments
As a fellow, occasional, black coffee drinker, I find the specific approach works.
“A black coffee, please”
“Wot? You rascist or summat? Cheeky fucker..”
Last time I graced that venue with my presence..
I’m also a black coffee drinker (like there’s any other proper way, tsk) but I’ve never come across this problem; most people then follow up with “Black or white?”. Weird.
Leave a comment. Play nice. I will turn this blog around.