This Is This

OK. Let’s get down to the nitty, if not the gritty. The business, if you will. Brass tacks. Let’s boil it down. Here’s the rub and the deal is this:

I drink.

I drink because I enjoy it and I am very particular about what I have.

It always breaks down to three things which are beer, wine and whiskey.

Beer
Real ales and bitter, but only when it’s good. It can be cloudly, room temperature, flat, bottled or cask, but it’s got to be good. I’m talking Websters, Adnams, Brakespeare, Spitfire, Tanglefoot. Good beers. Bad ales are foul and I’d rather have a cold lager when that happens. Good lagers are strong drafts, like Stella, 1664. You can keep your Carlbergs and Heinekens and Fosterses and Budweisers unless I’m out for a whole evening with people drinking beer because you can’t drink the strong stuff all night. Beer should never be served in cans, but bottled beers can be good, the kings of which is Peroni Nastro Assuro or the more illusive Peroni Red.

Wine
I’m not a wine snob at all, but I can tell a cheap one from a decent one. I can’t really tell and excellent one from a good one, so I’ll often say “Nice wine” and drink several glasses. Some people talk about wine the way I talk about music and that’s fine, but I can also see how it’s silly, but whatever. I don’t mind but I don’t really get it. On the plus side, my philistine outlook to the grape probably saves me hundreds over the course of the year. It’s normally red, often French or Italian for ethical reasons, because I think there enough boats and planes moving things around the planet.

Whiskey
I always have a bottle of whiskey on the go in my house. Always. It might not be right, but I can’t see who it’s hurting. That’s just me. Je roule comme ca.
 
They are normally Bourbon and Scotch. Actually at the moment I have Jack Daniels and Famous Grouse going in the cupboard. My everyman approach to wine also applies to the grain. I like single malts like Laphroaig and Glenfiddich, but I’m ok with a good blend like Famous Grouse. There comes a point where I can tell the difference in smaller incriments than the increasing price tags. I’m a fan of Jamesons and Paddy from the father’s mother’sland and I like the bourbons. Jack Daniels on the shelf is as common as tea bags in my house. I’ve had others like Maker’s Mark and Rebel Yell, but for me, you can’t take the Lynchburg out of the boy.

Exceptions
I will drink good cider when I’m the west country and margeuritas in the southern US.

Appendix
I have never had a martini, a gin and tonic, a rum and coke, a bloody mary, a mint julep. 

Or a spritzer, a cooler, (come on pretty mama) kalua, zambucca, (ooh I wanna take ya)… ouzo or a bunch of things with silly names in wierd bottles.

Irish coffee also makes no sense. Whiskey and coffee - wouldn’t they just cancel each other out? What’s the benefit? It’s like deep fried celery. I’ve had it when I’ve had a bad cold, because the coffee does pick you up while the booze comforts you. It’s the firm soothing of tough love.

Liver
My liver’s good. There was a stage about fifteen years ago where I would have three or four pints at lunch and then beer and whiskey in the evening. I would have the shakes in the morning sometimes but never felt unwell and I remember my main concern was the expense rather than my health. Two years ago I could not remember the last time I hadn’t had at least one drink in a day. I’ll still pour a little something 95 per cent of the days and no one minds. I remember my parents always drank their fair share in the evenings when I was a kid. There was booze at every party and no one in my family has ever had a drink problem. I would be looking for those signs if I thought I did.

You may think it’s excessive but it all depends on your standards. I drink may drink more than your local imam, but it’s less than, say, a French journalist. But then people who say they don’t have a problem would say that, so you can’t win.

Most honest friendships I have were cemented with alcohol and they are the most valuable things I have. Booze has cleared more air that anything I could have concocted and I don’t drink when I shouldn’t.

Raise a glass, I’m buying.

Also on This Is This
Who knew? Who has dared since? No one, that’s who, cause they ain’t Stevie.
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