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Football English

I was listening to the football last night, and there’s something about Everton getting beaten by Manchester United that makes me cranky.

The commentator was describing a move in a lull during play:

“You can see what he was thinking, Barry. The keeper’s off his line, Ronaldo’s taken the ball around the defender, he’s had a little look and he’s gone for goal.”

It’s the “he’s” that bugs me. “He’s” means “he is”, as in “he’s a wanker.”

“He’s had a little look”?

He is had a little look?

What the fuck does that mean?

I don’t know who the announcer was, and I don’t care how good a footballer he was back in the day. He needs to speak English, and I give no fucks for his cockney affectations.

He’s means “he is”. It doesn’t mean “he has”. In the same way that the past tense of come is “came”. It is isn’t “come”, as in. “Bill and Vera come round on Saturday.”

If someone says that to me, my reply is always the same:

“Do they? What time do they arrive?”

It bugs me how no one in radioland takes the ex-footballer aside and says: “Look Dave. Er, the past tense of have is ‘has’. That’s right. It’s not ‘is’. You keep saying ‘is’, like ‘he’s made a challenge’, but it’s ‘has’. If you keep saying is instead of has, you should you shouldn’t be in broadcasting.”

But of course everyone in media is too nice. Apart from me of course, because they love their celebrities.

We invented the game and the language, and we’re crap at both.


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12 Responses to “Football English”

  1. Ed R Says:

    So CLiffs, what’s the proper contraction for He has? I was thinking “he’s” is valid in that usage.
    But then again, I never studied words or their usage much beyond ‘The Bridge over San Luis Rey’.

  2. Salvadore Vincent Says:

    Lynne Truss thinks he’s right.

  3. * (asterisk) Says:

    I’m not convinced by this argument. I think the verb “to have” may be contracted in all its forms:

    I’ve
    You’ve
    He’s
    We’ve
    You’ve
    They’ve.

    Surely?

  4. Gordon Says:

    He has had a little look.
    He’s had a little look.

    The English language is built on flexibility, this is one such example surely. Such things evolve, for good or bad.

    Would it have been different if the commentator had been talking about James Beattie?? ;-)

  5. Cliff Says:

    Shit * - I think you’re right.

    How about “he’ve” and “she’ve”

    Bugger. Now I’m angry and wrong.

  6. Cliff Says:

    Gordon - That’s hypothetical. James Beatty doesn’t have a little look or take the bal around defenders.

  7. mike Says:

    Also - and I hate to kick a man while he’s down, but - the past tense of “have” is “had”, not “has”. “Has” was correctly being used as part of a present perfect construction, as in: “he has made a challenge”.

    http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/presentperfect.html

  8. Cliff Says:

    Cheers Mike. See, a lesser man might correct his mistakes and delete all these comments.

  9. Sooz Says:

    Cliff - there seems to be something wrong with the comments thingy on the next post - it says ‘page not found’ and I wanted to reply wittily!

  10. Cliff Says:

    Weird. Probably because I changed the title of the post of something.

    hmm - Can you reply wittily here?

  11. sooz Says:

    No can do. I’ve now got stage fright! Everyone will be looking at this and saying ‘well that’s not witty’ so the moment has gone. It’s tant amount to being drunk and thinking you’re so very funny. The next day you wish you hadn’t been quite so err ‘comical’!

  12. Cliff Says:

    Know the feeling. I clam up at: “I love you way you guys talk”.

    Or when someone links to your blog and says: “He’s brilliant! Look at what he says!”

    Apparently.

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