I Like Straight Talking
Maybe it’s the journalist in me, or the fact that my family is fucked by politics and ill-conceived diplomacy, but I take everything at face value and I do not like gossip.
I give no fucks for hearsay, don’t care about suspicions and have no time for notions. If someone ever hints to me that me that someone might have a hidden agenda (and I can even feel myself getting angry at putting it in this limp-assed way) I will ask a direct question like:
“Are you saying that Person A is trying to undermine Person B?”
“Do you mean that Person C is sleeping with Person D?”
“So you’re suggesting that Person E is trying to gain Person F’s favour for financial gain?”
And normally, the answer from the conspiracy theorist is something non-committal, like:
“Well, look at the facts…”
No. You fucking look at the facts and tell me what you really think. If you have a point to make, at least draw a conclusion.
That’s the editor in me saying: “Come back when you have a story.”
The person making the flouncy accusation then says: “All I’m saying is Person A is perfectly placed to benefit from a possible outcome.”
Right, so you’re saying nothing really, are you?
Politics, I swear to god. Politics are to family what holes are to cheese. The more cheese you have, the more holes. But the more holes you have, the less cheese.
Tell me what you mean, and I’ll go on the record and ask that person if what you suspect is true, OK? Otherwise don’t talk to me about your theories.
I got a Christmas card this year from a family member that said, “We may not always be in touch, but you’re often in our thoughts.”
Oh yeah? Well fuck you and send an email every once in a while. Merry fucking Christmas. How do you like those thoughts?
Dickhead.
December 21st, 2006 at 9:51 am
Ouch! I was 100% with you (being a straight-talking Saffer and all) until the Christmas card bit. Seriously, do you manage to email everyone you should, as often as you should? That message makes perfect sense to me. I love my friends, I think of them all the time, but life is busy and keeping in touch is demanding and I’m crap at it.
Or maybe this is me being dumb, taking it at face value, missing the hidden code. You English. So complicated.
December 21st, 2006 at 10:29 am
Hey Scroob. It is complicated. On face value it seems harsh, and you are taking it on face value, which exactly right. I also realise that I have been talking about taking it at face value and making a point, which I have not done. You got me! You will have to trust me on this.
December 21st, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Yee-OUCH. Someone’s gonna be ticked.
Come back when yuou have a story, will you?
December 21st, 2006 at 2:33 pm
Brilliant. The best thing I’ve read in ages, and I nodded in agreement throughout!
But let’s be honest here. If there we no more “beating around the bush” then the working day would only be 20 minutes long, and so what would we do then?