This Is This

By Bonnie Gillespie (author, casting director–Hollywood) http://www.spynotebook.org/bonnie/

I love my husband. Yes, yes I do. (I’m still amazed, daily, that I even got married, as that’s SO not my thing. But whatever. I dig this boy and he’s stuck around longer than anyone else I’ve shacked with–and believe me, I do my best to scare the boys off within a year [and I usually succeed].)

Keith has a couple of disorders that I must share, as maybe someone out there can commiserate and advise.

Keith will always: vacuum the floors (Yay!) and then take the vacuum cleaner back to the closet in which it lives. And park it. Right outside the closet. Seriously. Like two feet and a tiny thickness of DOOR away from its HOME. And there it will sit. As evidence that hunter man has killed the dust? Not sure. I really don’t get this. It’s so dang close to “put away.” What IS that?!?

and

Expiration dates: Keith doesn’t believe in them on things like eggs or milk. See, I’m super-hyper-obnoxious about expiration dates (except on drugs, because I figure if the Rx is yummy-fun today, it’s got extra special magical qualities after its expiration date), so I want to throw out foodstuffs within hours of their “best before” dates (and typically on the early side of those dates). Keith, on the other hand, will just eat and deal with “it,” digestively. (Lucky me.) But tonight, as Keith swam in the tub and readied his face for shaving, he asked me to bring him his razor and I offered up some shaving cream… mine. “No. Yours is old!” he said. Huh? What?!? My super cool girlie shave gel is awesome and what the hell does it matter if it’s old? Define OLD as chemicals go.

“No. I need mine. It’s newer.”

Say it’s more butch. Say it’s better for hearty boy beard stuff (as opposed to my girlie creamy gel stuff made for fair-haired girls’ occasional needs).

But say it’s NEWER and that’s what makes it okay to use?

WHAT?!?

Also on This Is This
I started loads of diaries when I was younger and gave up after a few weeks. I could dig out a decade worth of childhood thoughts from January to mid February.
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