This Is This

This ain't something else

Pranks For The Memory

One of the many pranks I wanted to pull in New York was to point to a tall building by the East River and say in passing, “That place? They’ve got folks from all over in there. It’s like the United Nations or something.”

The joke would of course be that I would be talking about the actual United Nations building.

Never happened.

The other came to mind because I was staying on 57th Street opposite Carnegie Hall, and the joke to which the punchline is when asked for directions to where* is: “Practice.”

Sadly, no one asked.

Had they, though, had they genuinely inquired: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” I would have answered: “Yeah, it’s right there. Across the street. That’s it.”

And then I would have adopted a pained expression, muttered a “fuck” and shouted at them desperately as they crossed the road - “PRACTICE!!!”

But like I said, it never happened.

But, oh man, if it had? What a blog post that would have made. And you’d read it and we’d all have a laugh about it and I’d poke the fire, shake my head and say “Swear to god,” and ask who could use another beer.

But I’m not really that guy.

*Love you me, love I’s grammar

That’s it now. No more posts about my holidays.

Tomorrow: My pen is

14 Responses to “Pranks For The Memory”

  1. Ed R Says:

    Oh joy;)

  2. Gorilla Bananas Says:

    It must be frustrating to have all these jokes which you never get to use.

  3. ted Says:

    They have people from the Mayor’s Office patrolling 57th asking the question just to make tourists feel good.

  4. Wendy Says:

    Will there be pictures in tomorrow’s post? Just wondering.

  5. Katy Newton Says:

    I really really REALLY REALLY want to be in New York now. Dammit.

  6. JonnyB Says:

    I never cease to laugh at my own funny ‘it’s like Piccadilly Circus round here’ joke, which I use when I am in… Piccadilly Circus!

  7. Cliff Says:

    Ed - you love it
    Gorilla Bananas - and the posts no one reads
    Ted - they would have hauled my ass down to the precinct to see the DA
    Wendy - No!
    Katy - but do you really?
    Jonny - The French have a similar one: “Ici, c’est comme la Place de la Concorde.”

  8. Katy Newton Says:

    Dammit Cliff you know I am trying to come off the italics. Would you hand out vodka shots at an AA meeting? Would you? Would you?… bugger.

  9. Cliff Says:

    Don’t start with me.

  10. Ed R Says:

    LEave her be, CLiff. Katy, I know Dallas is no substitute for New York, but I do have two spare bedrooms.

  11. Cliff Says:

    Careful Ed -you’d have to put up all the readers. That’s like seven people.

  12. Katy Newton Says:

    Which would be three and a half people per room.

  13. Cliff Says:

    Roadtrip! Shotgun.

  14. Katy Newton Says:

    Oh right - now we’re bagsying.

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