This Is This

A play in one act and scene

A talent agency, where a representative is talking to one of his clients in the afternoon and the strictest confidence.

Agent: What they’re looking for is a jazz singer.

Talent: But I’m a crooner. I’m no jazz singer.

Agent: Neither was Neil Diamond, baby.

Talent: And that film nearly killed him.

Agent (singing): Love on the rocks…

Talent: Love on the rocks my arse.

Agent: Rocks my ass, too, baby. Now I’m going to put this down on a piece of paper, and I want you to consider it.

The agent scrawls something, rips the paper from the pad and slides it across the desk to his client.

Client: This is a drawing of a penis.

Agent: A penis today, David, but we’re talking nationwide syndication, merchandising, spinoffs.

Talent: I want to seek alternative representation.

Agent: This town ain’t so big, David.

Talent: I don’t understand you any more.

Agent: I’m saying jazz singer to you.

David walks out

–

Tomorrow: Time travel

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