Market Ting
You can’t really trust marketing messages because salesfolk always spin their patter to an angle.
Example? Hmmm. Give me a sec.
OK - here’s one. Last month: my lawnmower, right? It blew up in comedy style on my front lawn. It started with a rattle, then a hum, then followed by - boy - a pop and an unforgettable fire. In RAF sonority it went from a Spitfire din to a Lancaster bomber drone within half a minute before two comedy puffs of smoke flew out the sides, signalling the final curtain for the Amazing Flymo.
I took myself by way of the rubbish tip to the hardware store to buy a new one. Like most things that should be easy (see Options, yesterday), it wasn’t. I wanted a cheap one but not a crap one.
Now, the company isn’t going to talk down its cheapest models, but something’s up when the description contradicts those of the more pricey lawnmowers, so they have to thing of something positive to say about all of them.
The cheapest mowers don’t collect the grass clippings, so the blurb on the box says that the cut grass goes back into the lawn to act as a mulch which nourishes the lawn.
The more expensive machine collects the grass, which is handy, the packaging tells me, so you don’t get that shit all over your garden.
Nice, huh?
You get what you pay for in this life, just don’t expect it to make any sense.
June 5th, 2007 at 8:55 am
I think the phrase you’re looking for, Cliff, is “making any old shit shine”!
June 5th, 2007 at 9:16 am
I guess the pricey ones pick up all that you can’t leave behind.
I’m struggling with the following:
How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
Achtung Baby (although that could have been your exclamation when the damned thing blew up)
but especially…
The Best Of: 1980-1990
June 5th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Based on your description of its demise, I thought for sure you were talking about an EDGEr and not a mower…
And is your new mower a self-mullin (jr.) type?
Crap. Should have quit while I was ahead.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I don’t get it.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Oh buit I did get a big chuckle out of your description of the death of the lawnmower’s last moments.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Leemer, Wendy - well done both. This is war.
June 5th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I’ll just sit this one out then…
June 5th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Ed, Cliff mentioned a few U2 album titles in his post. Leemer and I are saying “me! me! Let me join in!” in an attempt to look clever. Actually, I shouldn’t speak for Leemer. It’s just what I was doing.
June 5th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Yeah OK. Never been a U2 listener. Guess I might have to change that.
June 6th, 2007 at 3:12 am
Wendy, you can always speak for me.
June 6th, 2007 at 9:29 am
Ed, for some reason U2’s one of those bands I no longer feel okay about admitting I like. They’re up there with Coldplay in terms of bands it’s no longer cool to like. And let’s not even MENTION their lead singers.
Anyway. I LIKE U2. I LIKE COLDPLAY.
If you’re going to give them a listen, may I recommend mine and Leemer’s favourite U2 song to begin with: http://youtube.com/watch?v=4m5Kz9cudIM.
W
June 6th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Thanks WEndy. I don’t care if it’s cool or not if the music’s good.