Down To The Wire
I wirelessed my place this weekend. Every last vestige of old schoolery has been purged from the nooks, if not crannies, of This House.
It took me a little while to figure out, but I’m a little stupid. Then I developed a headache last night which I thought might be related to the network. As if living and breathing this blog weren’t enough and paying money to get my thoughts out there, I guessed I might actually have to physically suffer as part of the publishing process. Lucky you, hey?
But then I thought I’ve stayed in enough hotels to have been exposed to enough wireless signals and they ain’t never hurt me none. (Triple negative - check it out)
It’s probably no worse than the flight path over my house and two motorways I live off. I wonder if there’s a Thames Valley Syndrome? It would explain a lot about the Royal Family.
It’s Monday, so I haven’t got too much to say. Uncle Sam didn’t write back, just as I suspected. I don’t think he’s actually a real uncle at all. Probably just another one of mummy’s “friends”.
So slim pickings today, but at least I got a gag into every paragraph. Except this one. This is the serious paragraph. This is the one that leans forward into the camera, removes its glasses and tells you that we’ve just heard that today’s post … is over - Down To The Wire, a post on This Is This was finally published at eight seventeen AM in the UK, Monday twenty fifth of June, two thousand and seven.
You don’t get many Howards these days…
June 25th, 2007 at 7:54 am
I got into work at quarter past seven this morning, and the FIRST THING I DID was check THIS site and there was NOTHING HERE apart from yesterday’s post.
Okay, so now you’ve done one, but where were you when I was crouched hollow-eyed and shaking over my computer at dawn? Eh?
June 25th, 2007 at 10:29 am
“This is the one that leans forward into the camera, removes its glasses and tells you that we’ve just heard that today’s post … is over - Down To The Wire, a post on This Is This was finally published at eight seventeen AM in the UK, Monday twenty fifth of July, two thousand and seven”
This is also the one that can tell the future, apparently.
Hope your headache’s better.
Shit, I’m being nice again right after Katy questioned you.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:44 am
AND his website clock is out by an hour!
THE BOMB, my foot.
June 25th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Katy - Hey, I didn’t ask for any of this! I’m sorry that you get online and have to read a post on Sunday. I’m writing every day now. Admittedly some of those things are rehashed cover versions of songs by The Police and spam mails to the US government, but still. Seven days a week, lady! Fuck, and indeed, you. I quit.
Also, for some reason, the clock is in GMT. I don’t know how to fix it. It’s right six months of the year, though. Cheers for pointing it out.
Wendy - I have fixed that now. Cheers for pointing it out. Thanks for being nice. Wendy.
Hrmph.
I liked “my foot, though” That’s right up there with crikey.
June 25th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Hey! I hold you up to hard standards because you have shown yourself capable of meeting those standards! You want me to wrap you in a duvet every morning and feed you tea and wholemeal muffins and perhaps some blackcurrant yogurt? WELL DO YOU? Actually you probably do. But would that feed your drive? Your integrity? Your willingness to pit yourself against yourself and win every time?
Exactly. I make no apologies for my no-nonsense tough-love approach!
Do I still get the Bronze Second Dan pizza discount?
Cliff?
June 25th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
This is the first site I check every day. Because I respect you. And because I respect you, I want you to achieve your best.
I know it is hard to understand right now, but when I give you a hard time like today? I’m being your friend, man.
You can come back to me with your thoughts on the pizza situation any time, by the way. Let’s not do anything rash.
June 25th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Who’s Howard?
June 25th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Katy - Mrs. This would take exception to the duvet thing, and with good foundation, but yes the pizza thing is still valid.
Sam - Just an observation, really. Howards seem to be thin on the ground now. There were adult Howards when I was a kid, but no one calls their kids Howard now. The Queen had a whole regiment of green ones at one stage.
June 25th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Uncle Sam is the least favourite family member ever. Effing takes my money, sends people to fight in illegal wars, and says “I want you” whilst pointing and leering at me. Creepy. *shudder* Don’t trust him.
June 25th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
and says “I want you” whilst pointing and leering at me
Any uncle that does that shouldn’t be trusted. What about Aunt Jemima?
June 25th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
It’s the legacy of Howard the Duck.
June 25th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Yeah, I like Aunt Jemima. Even if she’s sickly sweet sometimes. Don’t really, really sweet people grind on ya sometimes? You know what I mean.
June 26th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Bob’s my Uncle.