Billboard
If I had a million pounds, I’d get take out one of those billboard ads on the M4 elevated section.
The posters are huge - about twenty feet high and twice again broad - and I’d make it a poster of the scenery behind it, or what the scenery would be from the angle of the driver’s perspective if the billboard weren’t there. You know, a really clear photograph of the trees and buildings behind it.
I think that would be a nice statement.
Plus, as you drove past it, and changed the angle, it would look all weird because the match would start going out and would make you feel funny and alive inside.
It would be cool driving up to it with the angle wrong at first, then at one point it would match perfectly and I bet at that moment, the guitar on the radio would do some kind of riff that you’d think maybe was just for you because at that moment, all else seemed to be perfect despite or because of the transience of things.
And with my million pounds, I’d be helping that feeling along for thousands of people every day, for however many days that sum would fetch.
That’s what I’d do anyway.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Sorta like the bridge over the chasm in ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’, huh?
June 28th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Of course there’s always the possibility that people may be so distracted by the perfect moment when the billboard matches perfectly that they drive off the bleedin’ flyover, but still. If that’s what you’d do with your million, it’s incredibly generous of you.
If we were two of the Three Amigos, you’d be Ned Nederlander and I’d be Lucky Day. Dusty Bottoms anyone? Ed?
June 28th, 2007 at 9:23 am
I quite like the underwear adverts myself.
The female underwear adverts…
June 28th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Ed - Exactly! Didn’t think of that.
Wendy - that would be distracting, but what a way to go, hey?
Mr Angry - that would be distracting, but what a way to go, hey?
June 28th, 2007 at 10:08 am
It’s always a great pub game: ‘practical jokes I would play if money were no object’.
The sort of Keith Moon thing.
June 28th, 2007 at 11:19 am
I’m a tad taller than Chevy and I have more hair.
But less money. MUCH less money.
June 28th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Would it really cost a whole million quid to put a billboard up? That seems like a lot.
June 28th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
He didn’t say he’d spend that mucyh, he just said if he had that much, he’d do it.
June 28th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Is Mr Angry saying he likes to wear female underwear?
June 29th, 2007 at 12:15 am
DOes that surprise you at all?
June 30th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I can’t believe in all my thought related to what I would do if I had a million pounds that that concept never entered my mind
June 30th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Don’t blame yourself, James. I have passed that same spot more than seven hundred times since I started writing this and it never occured to me until now.
Do you have a million pounds? Should we totally do it?
June 30th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
For a million pounds you could get it painted as you’d like it to be - no Gunnersbury Building, no Novotel, no… David Hockney’s available.