Bomb THIS.
A couple of words for the motherfuckers who tried to bomb the airport at the weekend.
If you’re going to bomb an airport, don’t do it at Glasgow, OK? By accounts, one of the would-be bombers was dropped by baggage handler John Smeaton as the terrorist tried to get bombs out his burning car.
I can think of few people harder than a Glaswegian baggage handler. A Nepalese herder? An Afghan miner? A Tasmanian rigger? No, I can think of no one else who would call you “pal” while deep frying your head.
These people endure low wages, long winters, World Cup humiliation and Andrew Murray. Do you think they are going to be phased by a burning Jeep full of explosives driven through a glass door into their workplace?
I can imagine the baggage handler stopping short of murdering the guy, then handing him over to the police, saying: “Do that again, wee man, let’s see what happens.”
I can hear suicide bombers planning their next move, saying “You know Steve*, next time I’m thinking Luton.”
Compassion’s a funny thing. Do I have any for someone who doesn’t deserve it? Yes, because everyone needs it. I feel bad that the world is such a mess that someone has to blow themselves up to prove a point, or that they are such a mess that they think it will. But I’m with the baggage handlers. I’m picking sides, and fuck you.
About yesterday: I’ve been low lately, not resting much, not helping myself out. I had no intention of joking around today, but that’s good. One of the reasons I have this blog is to get myself up here, drag myself if I have to, and do something other than the necessary - every single day. That whatever happens, I can lift my head at the end of a post and say “I’ll meet you back here”.
Thanks.
*Why are they always called Steve?
July 3rd, 2007 at 7:49 am
Couldn’t agree with you more!
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:13 am
Shoot, Cliff, I picked sides long ago and never thought twice about it. It’s the only thing you can do when someone else picks sides first, and they mean to destroy you. Compassion is fine but it really should be a two-way street.
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:52 am
From the Glasgow hero’s tribute website…”Little did he know, as he happily dragged on his fag, that two crazed al-Qaeda operatives were preparing to meet their maker. But they didn’t meet their maker. Instead they met BAA’s answer to Jack Bauer. ”
Love it.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
That’s awesome Wendy. Smeato’s already got a page in Wikipedia and I’m looking at wallpapers for my desktop.
All hail the Smeatonator.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:58 am
One Glasgae kiss and the b*st*rds crumble
July 3rd, 2007 at 12:03 pm
The Kaiser Chiefs saw this coming, you know. They sang about it in I Predict A Riot…
Watching the people get lairy
Is not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
And not very sensible either
A friend of a friend he got beaten
He looked the wrong way at a policeman
Would never have happened to Smeaton
How right they were, my friend. How right they were.
July 3rd, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Genius. I looked them up of course, and I can confirm - genius.
July 3rd, 2007 at 4:15 pm
It needs repeating: posts like this are the exact reason i read your stuff. Nothing short of brilliant.
And I’m sorry you’ve been down lately. Perhaps I should send you a nice song.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Thanks Leemer. How about Bedspring Kiss by Jellyfish?
I can’t find it anywhere.
July 4th, 2007 at 10:56 am
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bellybutton-Jellyfish/dp/B000026GJZ/ref=pd_rhf_p_1/026-6685063-1696459?ie=UTF8&qid=1183546099&sr=1-1
Sorry I’m not too good at this link thing, copy and paste I’m afraid
July 4th, 2007 at 11:44 am
Hey Emom - it shows up automatically. Thanks for the link. I just wanted the single, but they don’t have it on itunes.
July 4th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Also, I forgot to say I think this is one of the best posts you’ve written for ages. No disprespect to your other posts.
July 4th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
No, the other posts will be just fine. Don’t you worry about them.
Cheers Wendy - means a bunch.
July 4th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I’ve got Bedspring Kiss. On its way.
:)
July 4th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Woo hoo! Thanks Wendy.