Think You’re Clever?
There’s a group of people I can’t much abide and they are so clever. These are the people who know a lot about stuff and love sharing their knowledge.
“Ah yes, ah, but mmm, ah,” I hear you say, “That’s you that is. That’s what you do.”
Well, yes, but also maybe no. If I can get around the thing that I don’t think I’m all that clever, and that I sometimes take part in conversations where way over a head that’s reminding me the fact, I can say that genuinely clever people can be a hoot.
Some people can pass off clever and be lovely, unassuming and engaging people. Humphrey Littleton, Stephen Fry, Graeme Garden, P J O’Rourke, Stewart Maconie and the great, great Nicholas Parsons.
But there are others who just know it and l can’t stand them. They turn up everywhere. Sandy Toksvig, Giles Coren, that bloke who had that show once and I think he wrote a book or at least he should and Mark fucking Kermode.
They are the Cleverati.
They use words like pastiche and protege. And they have soirees and actually say “nibbles”.
Mark Lawson was on Radio 4 the other day discussing the Simpsons movie. Now I’ve seen it and it’s a great film. A brilliant film, but brilliant in the sense of the word that you or I would use, not in the way that the Clevers would, chasing it down with words like postmodern or indictment.
He and his guests, also members of the Cleverati, followed it up with a review of a drama about nuclear physics and then a critique (see, even that word annoys me) of a play about German post-war politics.
If this brings evokes a shudder of recognition, then you should watch yourself. Nobody like a smart guy.
That’s quite profound, if you think about it.
August 2nd, 2007 at 8:29 am
As someone who listens to Mark Kermode’s weekly Radio 5 Live movie podcast, I would like to defend the be-quiffed one. He certainly knows a lot about movies (that’s his stock in trade), but he freely admits he knows a helluva nothing about TV, popular culture, football, and many other subjects.
Oh and, Cliff, it’s Stuart (with a “u”) Maconie - can I join the Cleverati now?
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:09 am
^ ^ Yes but isn’t that because he thinks it would be beneath him to know about TV, popular culture and football?
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:33 am
WOOHOO!!!!! Go Emom!
In your face, Clevers!
“Ewwww, I’m so clever. Ewwwww, I don’t actually watch television.”
Tomorrow on this is this: Football
(I swear to fucking god, I’ve written it already and everything)
Rob - you’re not one of them, even though you are clever.
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:53 am
you’re surely talking about wankers.
Nobody I’ve ever met would use the word “nibbles”
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:06 am
Nibbles would never have occured to me as a cleverer-than-thou word, but you’re right. Once again you’ve demonstrated acumen, astuteness and perspicacity worthy of such a discerning audience. Hurrah!
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:36 am
Oh dear Wenders, next time I see you we had better have a snack, not nibbles!
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:49 am
Righty-ho, mother! Best ask the Ambassador to call off the Rocher. Although I doubt the clever-clever would be particularly au fait with our dining habits anyway.
August 2nd, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Is it bad that my boyfriend calls me nibbles?
Always thought it was just a pet name not meaning much of anything, really. But now that I think about it…
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Oh MAN, Giles Coren. Like don’t even talk to me about him. “Ooh look at me I’m so environmental. I am on a one-man crusade against bottled water.” Baaaargh.
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Um…
I don’t watch tv either.
August 3rd, 2007 at 6:53 am
Peach - I am also talking about wankers; that is correct.
Wendy - acumen??? Exchellenteh. I once went to an embassador’s reception and I fully expected the ferrero rochers to be presented in a pyramid serving arrangement.
Kathryn - Only if he serves you on a dish at your soireez.
Katy - I will not talk to you about Giles Coren.
Ed - It’s ok to not watch TV. But watching it and appearing on it and claiming not to know about it is Clever.
August 3rd, 2007 at 8:08 am
The word ‘pastiche’ should be taken in its original context - a Cornish pastiche: like a pasty, but somehow representative of all pasties.