Bourne Again
All yesterday’s talk of arms dealers and clandestine deals turned my mind to the Bourne films.
Identity and Supremacy were on TV last week, so I’m thinking the people in the hotel probably weren’t defence industry insiders, and were just the product of an overactive imagination.
Now you’ve got the Bourne Ultimatum.
I wonder if they’ll make a prequel. The could call it
Bourne Yesterday
Tagline: “Some people say he was. But he wasn’t.”
And I’m off.
Bourne On The Bayou
Jason goes to the deep south and assumes the identity of a French-Canadian trapper in order to infiltrate the Cajun community.
Bourne Slippy
Government contract killing with a dash of slapstick. It’s James Bond meets Noel’s House Party. But wait – who’s that at the door?
Bourne on the Fourth of July
Explosive stuff in this holiday special as the CIA killer-gone-AWOL adds some sparkle.
Bourne Free
Spy adjust charging structure to pro-bono fees to drive out the competition, but someone’s calling dirty tricks.
Have a great weekend everyone.
16 comments
Bourne Mouth
In which our intrepid hero smuggles state secrets across international borderd hidden in a filling.
There’s Bourne Under a Bad Sign, in which either JAson solves the Zodiac killings or gets crushed by a billboard.
Then there’s Bourne to be Wild , in which Jason goes undercover in a motorcycle gang to try and solve the riddle, ‘Who IS Question Mark and the Mysterians , ANYWAY?’
And we have ‘ I wish I was never Bourne’, in which Jason takes a look back at his life, with great regret.
Or Natural Bourne Killers, wherein Mickey and Mallory end JAson’s suffering without a second thought.
Late in the series (but before Natural Bourne Killers, naturally) there’s I Was Bourne Under A Wandrin’ Star. Lee Marvin comes back from the grave to play Jason as an old man in a restrospective of his previously unknown life as a cowboy and WWII hero.
Boy, if it wasn’t for bad luck he wouldn’t have no luck at all.
He must have been down since he began to crawl!
I really wish I’d posted those in reverse order, you know.
Then there’s Bourne in the USA, in which the spy does a valedictory tour of the lower 48, unveiling black ops as he goes.
And, of course, Bourne to Run, when Jason pulls a Forrest and takes off on a long-distance, cross country jog. Possibly combined with the former?
The ultimate prequel would be When a Child is Bourne, documenting his early years of commando-rolling across sandpits and stealthily disarming the home alarm system while sneaking downstairs to get some milk and cookies after bedtime.
And To The Manor Bourne, in which Jason Bourne blunders into the grounds of Grantleigh Estate seeking shelter from enemy operatives, only to find himself irritated and enchanted in equal measure by widowed gentlewoman Penelope Keith.
Oh dear. What is going on here?! It is Bourne Crazy! (Ideally a montage would now run displaying all of Cliff’s TIT commenters and their stories Bourne out of an action-packed post with bad CIA agents hunting him down across various continents, especially focusing on the Bayou and the Wild). Great. Now I’m hungry for cajun food.
Cliff has that effect on people sometimes.
Another one…
Kids These Days Don’t Know They’re Bourne
Jason Bourne, aged 72, lectures his grandkids on how when he were a lad, they never had these Nintendo PlayStations. They had to make their own fun.
Bourne With A Silver Spoon In His Mouth
Look at him, acting like he’s something special, lording it up over us humble government agents.
Saving Private Bourne, in which he visits the gravesites of some of his fellow agents and recalls being saved?
Hehe, TIT commenters.
I’m starting a script for Some Like It Bourne, where Jason has to dress up as a Muslim woman and infiltrate a high-brow burlesque club in Addis Abbaba.
Good, if slightly off-kilter. There are no rules saying you can’t just replace any word with Bourne, so I’ll let those stand. But if people start suggetsing Saturday Bourne Fever or Casa-bourne-ca then it all gets a little silly.
I will turn this blog around. Don’t think I don’t mean it.
Right?
Okay.
See what happens without proper supervision?
if this carried on there really would be one Bourne every day
Leave a comment. Play nice. I will turn this blog around.