The Negative Assumption
I know someone who doesn’t ask questions, so much as puts them in the negative and then delivers them as statements.
Examples:
“You’re not leaving your job.”
Instead of - “Are you leaving your job?”
Also: “You don’t have your wallet.” Or: “You’re not having dinner.”
I don’t know why they do it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to intrude, so they use a presumption instead.
I have a relative who just goes all out and asks questions in the negative. They used to call up and go:
“Is your dad not there?”
To which my reply, very much like an asshole, would be: “No.”
The reply would be: “Can you ask him to call me when he’s in?”
And I’d top it off with a triumphant: “He’s in now. Do you want to speak to him?”
See, even then. Private joke, audience of one, starring me. Sold out, standing room only, three drink minimum. I’ve been a wonderful audience.
But I’m not a complete twat. I could have said: “He is in. Don’t you want to speak to him?”
And when the person said “OK” I could have said: “OK.” and hung up.
That is a twat.
Maybe the negative presumption, the “You’re not at work” thing is like a Jedi mind trick. That could have its uses.
“Are you looking for these droids?” wouldn’t have the same effect.
Oh god. A Star Wars reference.
I haven’t just alienated you.
Wasn’t it endearing?
You’re not commenting.
September 4th, 2007 at 7:49 am
No, I’m not.
September 4th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Aren’t you?
September 4th, 2007 at 9:15 am
My head hurts.
September 4th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Are you not well, Ed?
September 4th, 2007 at 9:29 am
If it’s good enough for Disraeli then it’s good enough for me:
“I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?”
Bah. Isn’t it?
September 4th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Don’t try it in Japan:
Me: That’s not too drafty for you?
Yoshi: Yes
Me: OK, I’ll close it
Yoshi: No!
September 4th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Wendy Says:
September 4th, 2007 at 7:49 am
“No, I’m not.”
That doesn’t mean she’s busy writing her own blog does it?
No?
September 4th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
Thanks Cliff - this is exactly why I read This. Everytime I worry that I’m a pedantic bastard I can reassure myself that I’m in good company, can’t I?
G
September 4th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
I’m never not going to understand this now
September 4th, 2007 at 3:40 pm
My head hurts even more now.
September 4th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Wait til I’ve kicked your ass at Scrabble, Ed.
September 4th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Then my head AND my ass will hurt.
September 4th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Gargoyle - Actually, Prime Minister, you are.
Ted - Isn’t that funny.
Emom - No. Or yes…
Guy - No you actually can claim that you’re in good company.
Peach - I gave up a long time ago
Katy - facebook scrabble. Just discovered it. Damn you.
September 4th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
I don’t THINK so.
September 4th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
There’s a curious Irish inflection that poses questions in the negative thusly: ‘will you not be having a cup of tea’?
My father used to take great pleasure in literally translating from the Gaelic and would often offer refreshment with the perplexing ‘is it tea that’ll be wanting at you?’ That could be complete bollocks for all I know and I think in many way that was the point.
This is the man who used to field phone calls from friends, who were in the habit of asking ‘is James there?’ ‘Yes’, my father would reply, whereupon he would remain immobile with the receiver implacably clamped to the side of his face. Few people can endure an awkward silence with a stubborn Irishman for long and I suspect most of them hung up after a few seconds.
In the immortal words of Graham ‘Turnip’ Taylor: “Do I not like that.”
September 5th, 2007 at 2:00 am
I think so.
September 5th, 2007 at 2:45 am
Am I not commenting? Have I not commented? Don’t you deserve a comment?
September 5th, 2007 at 3:22 am
You really think so?
September 5th, 2007 at 3:45 am
Had I been clever, that would have been :
‘You don’t really think so?’
September 5th, 2007 at 7:59 am
Jim - I think we might be brothers.
September 5th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
ASpirin! I need ASPIRIN!
September 6th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I just witnessed one.
I was in the staff room at work, when someone came in to leave a note in someone else’s pigeon hole (stop it). She couldn’t find said hole (I said STOP), so asked for help from the woman I was with. Here was the reply.
“Hilda’s pigeon hole isn’t on the right.”
It was on the right and everyone seemed happy with that. Ed, can you pass the aspirin when you’re finished with it?