The Negative Assumption
September 4, 2007
I know someone who doesn’t ask questions, so much as puts them in the negative and then delivers them as statements.
Examples:
“You’re not leaving your job.”
Instead of – “Are you leaving your job?”
Also: “You don’t have your wallet.” Or: “You’re not having dinner.”
I don’t know why they do it. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to intrude, so they use a presumption instead.
I have a relative who just goes all out and asks questions in the negative. They used to call up and go:
“Is your dad not there?”
To which my reply, very much like an asshole, would be: “No.”
The reply would be: “Can you ask him to call me when he’s in?”
And I’d top it off with a triumphant: “He’s in now. Do you want to speak to him?”
See, even then. Private joke, audience of one, starring me. Sold out, standing room only, three drink minimum. I’ve been a wonderful audience.
But I’m not a complete twat. I could have said: “He is in. Don’t you want to speak to him?”
And when the person said “OK” I could have said: “OK.” and hung up.
That is a twat.
Maybe the negative presumption, the “You’re not at work” thing is like a Jedi mind trick. That could have its uses.
“Are you looking for these droids?” wouldn’t have the same effect.
Oh god. A Star Wars reference.
I haven’t just alienated you.
Wasn’t it endearing?
You’re not commenting.
22 comments
No, I’m not.
Aren’t you?
My head hurts.
Are you not well, Ed?
If it’s good enough for Disraeli then it’s good enough for me:
“I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?”
Bah. Isn’t it?
Don’t try it in Japan:
Me: That’s not too drafty for you?
Yoshi: Yes
Me: OK, I’ll close it
Yoshi: No!
Wendy Says:
September 4th, 2007 at 7:49 am
“No, I’m not.”
That doesn’t mean she’s busy writing her own blog does it?
No?
Thanks Cliff – this is exactly why I read This. Everytime I worry that I’m a pedantic bastard I can reassure myself that I’m in good company, can’t I?
G
I’m never not going to understand this now
My head hurts even more now.
Wait til I’ve kicked your ass at Scrabble, Ed.
Then my head AND my ass will hurt.
Gargoyle – Actually, Prime Minister, you are.
Ted – Isn’t that funny.
Emom – No. Or yes…
Guy – No you actually can claim that you’re in good company.
Peach – I gave up a long time ago
Katy – facebook scrabble. Just discovered it. Damn you.
I don’t THINK so.
There’s a curious Irish inflection that poses questions in the negative thusly: ‘will you not be having a cup of tea’?
My father used to take great pleasure in literally translating from the Gaelic and would often offer refreshment with the perplexing ‘is it tea that’ll be wanting at you?’ That could be complete bollocks for all I know and I think in many way that was the point.
This is the man who used to field phone calls from friends, who were in the habit of asking ‘is James there?’ ‘Yes’, my father would reply, whereupon he would remain immobile with the receiver implacably clamped to the side of his face. Few people can endure an awkward silence with a stubborn Irishman for long and I suspect most of them hung up after a few seconds.
In the immortal words of Graham ‘Turnip’ Taylor: “Do I not like that.”
I think so.
Am I not commenting? Have I not commented? Don’t you deserve a comment?
You really think so?
Had I been clever, that would have been :
‘You don’t really think so?’
Jim – I think we might be brothers.
ASpirin! I need ASPIRIN!
I just witnessed one.
I was in the staff room at work, when someone came in to leave a note in someone else’s pigeon hole (stop it). She couldn’t find said hole (I said STOP), so asked for help from the woman I was with. Here was the reply.
“Hilda’s pigeon hole isn’t on the right.”
It was on the right and everyone seemed happy with that. Ed, can you pass the aspirin when you’re finished with it?
Leave a comment. Play nice. I will turn this blog around.