Ninja Footsave Goes Bad

Much has been written about the Ninja Footsave. Admittedly all of it my be, and a stretch ago at that, but I did another one last week.

On the bus, a woman sitting next to me dropped something. I was in a confined space, so I didn’t really get a look at the falling object. But I decided it looked a safe shape – nothing in other words that could cut or burn me. The likelihood of my fellow commuters doing hotknives on the way into work seemed pretty slim.

So with the object falling and gathering pace, I knew there was no time to lost. I decided to stick my foot out. It was a round object. It hit my foot. It felt soft, because it absorbed the impact and bounced off foward.

…bounced off forward.

Listen to me. I kicked it.

Next thing I know there’s a peach rolling away from me and a look of horror on the passenger’s face.

I looked at her with an expression that plumbers give you while they are soaking your house, apologetic but reassuring. Kind of: “I can fix this.”

It got about two feet away before I put my foot on it. Not stamping on it, you know. Heel to the floor, ball of the foot on the stem.

Her horror turned to grief. I had distain for my previous enthusiasm. I picked up her peach with a bashful gallantry. Kind of: “Here’s your fruit, ma’am.”

She took it with a muted thanks.

I decided that the Ninja Footsave is a young man’s game.

Next time someone drops something, it’s going down, and taking my good intentions with it.

Never kick the peaches of strangers.

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