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Involuntary Comedy Responses

I mentioned Demitri Martin on Friday. Funny guy. He says if he ever saw an amputee being hanged, he would shout out random letters.

I have a number of involuntary comedy responses. One of them is when if someone asks me if I can smell something.

Example.

Someone: Can you smell smoke?

Me: Yes. S-M-O-K-E.

See? You actually sPell it. Genius.

Another one is with accents. Admittedly I can’t do many, but if someone says Jeff Buckeley, I will always repeat it in a broad Yorkshire accent. I don’t know why it’s so fun to say, but it is. Same with R Kelly. “All right, our Kelly.”

More? OK.

When I’m on the phone and someone asks me if I have a pen, I sometimes say proudly: “I have several.”

Or a colleague asks: “Have you had a haircut,” I say: “Yeah, load of times.”

I’m just going to keep going.

If someone mentions a road when discussing their travels, say the A332, I will always pay kudos and add: “That’s a great road.”

How I don’t get punched continues to amaze me.

Tomorrow: How increased consumption of media both threatens and encourages original creativity

6 Responses to “Involuntary Comedy Responses”

  1. Wendy Says:

    I bet none of those things are the slightest bit annoying.

    Oh no wait. That’s not what I meant to say AT ALL.

  2. Ed R Says:

    This is still Virtual Cliff, I take it?

  3. Sam Says:

    The one I’ve been annoying people with these past few weeks is:

    “Do you know what day Christmas is this year?”

    “Well, yeah, it’s still the 25th.”

  4. Pete Says:

    Whenever I drive past a sign to the A404, I always crack a “Road Not Found” gag.

  5. Wendy Says:

    You’re ALL turning into my dad.

    And there’s nothing tomato with that.

  6. Mr Angry Says:

    OK, now even I am beginning to believe that you might be me.

    If it wasn’t for the fact that you don’t get punched I’d be certain of it.

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