Going Downhill In A Bathtub
The other day I asked if there was anything you wanted me to write about. Actually, that’s misleading. It was Monday, just one of several days of the week.
You replied literally in your twos, which was near enough silence indicate that:
a) you don’t really care what I write, but read anyway (and thanks)
b) you know I’ll write anyway and do my little monkey dance no matter what you say
But it’s cool either way. I have lots to say. I haven’t jumped the shark yet, although I am going downhill in a bathtub.
Going downhill in a bathtub - (exp.) To play to one’s strengths by reverting to type; often at the expense of artistic pride. Origin: veteran sitcom Last Of The Summer Wine regularly used the device to fulfil its definition as a “comedy” to commissioning editors. Whenever plots were faltering and scripts dried up, cast members would routinely climb in a bathtub and literally go down a hill. Laughs or not, the series has run for thirty years.
I don’t understand why people watch LOTSW. Maybe it’s a loyalty thing, like supporting a crap team. I supported a crap team for years, but they are good now and they were great before, and that’s the whole glory and madness of sport fandom. You have aspirations; faith, even.
I could say I support Everton religiously (by that I mean it’s divisive, it lets me avoid reality and I blame them for all my problems) but watching a television show in the hope that they’ll hurtle downhill in a bathtub to a laughter track is no way to live, OK?
It’s no way to live.
Let’s go outside, yeah? Get you some fresh air.
Shhhh.
February 12th, 2008 at 8:50 am
What was your first ever job, Cliff?
(There you go. There’s a sensible suggestion for you. Come away from the bathtub now, okay? Okay.)
February 12th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Have you ever attempted to go downhill in a bathtub? Extra credit if you were wearing green wellies and an old jacket tied up with string, whilst professing a liking for old ladies in wrinkly stockings.
February 12th, 2008 at 11:24 am
What is your going downhill in a bathtub, Cliff?
February 12th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Thanks Katy - I will answer that soon.
Scary - Don’t remind me. The horror. The LOOK of horror of the faces. Mind you, they probably aren’t big TIT readers.*
Sam - Stuff like this. Writing bits of stuff about things. The weekend song, word things, thoughts, homespun cod philophies. Chav haiku. That kind of thing.
*Ooh - can you imagine?
February 12th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
S’funny, I once saw the first ever episode of LOTSW - it may have been a pilot - but the three codgers were sitting in a library having a conversation about orgasms. It was surreal, edgy and extremely funny. If only they’d quit while they were ahead …!
February 12th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
To its credit, Sophie, it has been written by the same guy, with no collaborators, for the whole time. And the bathtub thing - he owns that gag. OWNS it. You stick anyone else in a bathtub and push them down a hill, people are going to go “Last Of The Summer Wine”.
February 12th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I’ve never seen anyone go down a hill in a bath - did they used to make them with wheels? Were they full of water?
February 12th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Yes, it’s Roy Clarke, I think - you do have to admire the sheer staying power of the man. And, of course, he also owns the “Nora Batty’s wrinkled stockings” gag … Didn’t he write “Open All Hours”?
February 12th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
you know I had thought of a smutty answer which was “now, I’ve gone down in a bath…”
but realised I was too good to actually say that….
February 12th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
I went downhill in a bathtub once.
Eventually, though, they found some space on a ward and I made a complete recovery.
I didn’t type this, they made me do it.
February 13th, 2008 at 12:14 am
I think we all do it. It’s just some part of us that has to come out. Admittedly not all of it is inspired greatness. We still HAVE to do it in some way or another. You can fight it and say oh I don’t need to do this, but we always come back.
I’m American they don’t do the bathtub bit as much here, but I have seen a number of canoes go downhill.
February 13th, 2008 at 8:37 am
You have to play to your strengths. Two quotes pop into my head. One is Robert Plant, accused of producing rock by numbers, who said that if you are a footballer and you score all your goals with your left foot, you don’t try and score more headers, you just bang them in. You do what works.
The other is Stephen Covey who said: “The main thing is to make the main thing the main thing.”