What whimsical nonsense! The ancient people of the British Isles, the Caledonians, the Irish and Boudicca were all red haired. They were never the tall chinless wonders with dark curly French Norman hair and never needed a sun resistant olive coloured skin. As every gardener knows, Britain is a relentlessly cold and wet place where the sun hardly ever shines.

The natives, the ancient throbs, quite sensibly evolved pale almost transparent pink skins and like Pelagius, carried ample layers of fat to protect them from the chill winds. They looked nothing like a lanky Monty Don.

You really can’t trust a man who thinks a leather jerkin is a good fashion move. In fact, jerkins should be banned full-stop.

However, Monty is more genuine and enjoyable than Alan Titchmarsh, who I’ve always found faintly creepy.