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“Too Soon!”

These were the imagined cries in my mind’s ear as I woke up to the news that ‘Allo ‘Allo is to be shown in Germany.

Initial thoughts of “haven’t they suffered enough?” then turned to my favourite joke about the catchphrased-based WW2 sitcom. Alexei Sayle once said the show’s screen run had not only lasted longer that the actual war itself, but had killed almost as many people.

Despite this, I am known to season my conversations with ‘Allo-isms even though:

1) It is not cool

2) It was not funny

3) I try being either

Scaryduck will confirm that during our checkered working life, I have addressed him as “you stupid woman”, while he in turn has warned me that he would “say zis only once”. Great days, SD. Great days.

Actually, I think he is the only person who has ever come back with an ‘Allo reference, leading me to worry about the number of actual females I have greeted with “You stupid woman”. Or “Good moaning”. Actually no, that one still works. Right? Ladies?

In other news, last week auntie, this week uncle, with news that I am one again as of lunchtime yesterday.

Welcome to the world, little one.

You stupid woman.

It’s OK. It’s just your Uncle Cliff have a little laugh. Just him. A little one.

11 Responses to ““Too Soon!””

  1. Ed R Says:

    My nephew is 23 or 24 next week. I coudl bea Grand-Uncle very soon.
    Well, maybe not so grand. I have not seen ‘Allo ‘Allo.

  2. Katy Newton Says:

    See now my head is repeating “thefallenmadonnawiththebigboobiesbyvanKlomp” over and over again, very quickly.

  3. Scaryduck Says:

    “Ooooh! Ze flashing knobs!”

    That is all.

  4. Katy Newton Says:

    And NOW I’m all “My dicky tickair!”. WHO WILL STOP THIS MADNESS?

  5. Jonners Says:

    All part of a cunning plan to cause a diplomatic row and allow us a swift exit from the EU, I am sure. I’d like to apologise to any Germans about this erm, unfortunate, export. It’s not the nature and subject matter of the program, rather it’s the quality of it that I would apologise for.

    It’s three jokes strung out over how many years? Fallen Madonna. Camp German (not the other way around, note). Bad pronunciation. That’s it. Three jokes. Sheesh.

    Sorry, I feel quite strongly about this.
    And I feel rather ashamed to be British (yet, again, it seems that I feel that a lot these days.)

    Good post, Cliff. Congrats on gaining your Uncleship. Personally, I love it, and I am so looking forward to when my niece is old enough for me to truly take on the role.

  6. ed r Says:

    So, if I were to say, “You stupid woman” to Cliff ir Jonners, it’s one thing, but if I say it to , say, Wendy or Katy, it’s death?

    I already knew that. Not that anyone here is a stupid woman but I’d never say anything of the kind.

  7. Sam Says:

    Tsk, you’re all so childish.

    When I was teeaching English in Germany I showed a 6th form class the Germans episode of Fawlty Towers, they thought it was hilarious. Although I did have to explain some of the jokes…

  8. Katy Newton Says:

    Fallen Madonna. Camp German (not the other way around, note). Bad pronunciation.

    Comedy gold, my son, comedy gold.

  9. Adam Cathro Says:

    I want to know what the Germans have done to deserve being tortured by the least amusing program since …. ever. Aren’t we all on the same side now?

  10. ted Says:

    Have I been missing the point? I used to think it funny because it sent up national stereotypes and in doing so - to every nationality - national stereotyping.

  11. Ed R Says:

    Don’t feel bad, Ted. Typical American that I am, I don’t understand a word of it.

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