This Is This

Chinese people right? We’ve got these chaps running the Olympics in a few weeks, and if no one’s going to have the balls to say something, I’m just going to come right out with it. The difference between the hurdles and the sprint is that the latter is a superior race.

These events are all about speed, and the 100 metres is as speedy as it gets. I don’t mind the other ones, the 3,000 metres, the 1,500 – those are all perfectly good disciplines. Some of my best friends do them. Lovely fellas. And there’s nothing wrong with a steeple chase. I persued a few myself for a couple of terms at university.

Don’t get me started on the relays, though. You have to draw the line somewhere, and that’s just sick. And the marathon? That’s not even a race and should be wiped off the fucking face of the fucking earth.

SOUND EFFECT: BZZZZZZ 

Voice 1: Repetition of the word “fucking”.

Nicholas Parsons: We had two “fuckings”, I’m afraid. And another “race” at the end there. A correct challenge for two points and with six seconds on the clock, Voice 1, tell us about Racism.

Voice 1: Louis Pasteur, Eric Cantona, Charles de Gaulle and Sasha Distell. All motherf-

SOUND EFFECT: WHISTLE BLOWN

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