Dog Post
OK, it’s not a great headline. It’s not like the time I imagined an Everton defender’s woodwind ballad pulled from the urban music awards show amid organisers’ concern for his mental health.
“No Go” For Loco Mofo Joe Yobo’s Slow-Mo MOBO Oboe Solo
Or airborne, drug enforcement officers closing down a failing hippy hair salon.
Drop-op Hop Cops Stop Mop Top Crop Shop Flop
Or when an Andrew Ridgely lookalike blasted a Belgian action hero’s mother during an airline-sponored Mexican hidden camera show.
Sham Wham Man Slams Van Damme’s Mam in Yucatan Pan Am Van Cam Scam
OK, these were all taken from my comments on Meg Pickard’s site, the wonderful Meish.org , but it all counts.
Actually, I thought of another one, today, which I am saving up for when Britney Spears’s ex husband seduces the flame-haired, Greatful Dead-loving boss of a Russian state-owned migraine drug company.
K-Fed Beds Red Fed Head Med’s Dead Head Red Head Head
It could happen. Oh boy, and when it does I will be there, me with not so much as a piece de resitance.
So my dog, anyway. I walk him every morning for about 45 minutes to an hour, up at 6:20. It seems a lot when he’s only four months old, but he is very energetic. Since talking to other pug owners, it seems like only mine has the energy of a blood-doped gymnast.
Still, I opted to take the rough with the smooth when I got into this. Little did I know that smooth is often served with a main course of rough as a side order in a deceptively shallow dish. Next time I order the smooth, I’ll have just enough rough to put hairs on my chest and no more. Or I’ll have it as a garnish and still qualify for desert.
My dog, though. He sleeps a lot and lets you stroke him, and he’s very attentive, but when I got a dog for companionship, I didn’t know it would mean you could never leave him alone - I thought it mean he’s there if I needed him. I didn’t know that my attention couldn’t be conditional. I thought it would be like having another blog. You know, drop in and out when you want, get the affection, clean up a bit of poo - that kind of thing.
But nooooooo. Apparently love’s a two way street, you see? You don’t know that when it’s quiet, though. You just drive down. Yes, the cars are all parked facing the same way, but you’re going somewhere, so it doesn’t really strike you.
I read somewhere once that dogs mourn the deaths of their owners. They go all lethargic and Leonard Cohen on you, sometimes for weeks. I think about the peace and quiet that would bring to my life, and wonder if my wife and I could draw straws.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am
He’ll calm down as he gets older. Four months is really still puppyhood.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:58 am
That was quick Katy. You commented before I got all the jokes in and took the typos out. Or both the jokes and some of the typos.
But I thought that too, but with when I’m down with Other Pug People the conversation goes:
OPP: “Wow - does he walk all the way?”
You know, Me: “Yes.”
OPP: “Our puppy doesn’t. He walks about 20 minutes and they he conks out.”
Me: “Yeah, but then an hour later, he’s crazy again, right?”
OPP: “Oh no, he’s quite the lethargio.”
Me: “Right. I’m off to take that hill over there.”
OPP: “That’s over six miles away.”
Me: “I want to watch the match.”
June 30th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I’m just going to type “chuckle” as a response, because that’s what I did when reading.
Oh, almost forget because of my chuckling: lethargio… a lazy womaniser?
June 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Pup Pun Pokes Fun At Pug Run.
What?
June 30th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Oooo. Maybe he won’t calm down.
Could be worse. He could be a Staffy. Lovely dogs, but they are PURE UNADULTERATED BALLS OF KINETIC ENERGY. Also, they smell of biscuits.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:09 am
I think if we had enough Staffs hooked up to the national grid, we could all leave our TVs on standby. Also, my cats’ paws smell of digestive biscuits. I have never heard anyone else say that before. That is cool. The phrase “So cut I could dunk you in my coffee” takes on a new, sinister meaning.
July 1st, 2008 at 11:54 am
That is crazy. I so nearly said digestive biscuits. And it is definitely stronger round my dog’s paws.
July 1st, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Cute. I meant cute. I just said my cats were “so cut”. I do not have muscle-bound cats. They are not ripped. They do not have the guns. That’s just beyond sinister.
Do you think digestive biscuits are made from the paws of small domestic little animals?
July 1st, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I think you’ve both probably had too much coffee already.
July 1st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I think it is more likely that the paws of small domestic little animals are a naturally occurring form of digestive biscuit. But, you know, potato potahto.
July 1st, 2008 at 4:48 pm
You’re all a bit weird. I find it strange when someone says they’re a dog person, I always imagine that they have the upper body of a human and the lower torso of a canine.