1. My uncle once: was rescued at sea and then accused of being an American spy.

2. Never in my life:have I been to the west coast.

3. When I was five: I could sing the vocal scores for The Fantastiks, South Pacific and My Fair Lady.

4. High school was: almost soul destroying.

5. I will never forget: summers by the shore.

6. Once I met: Jackie Kennedy.

7. There’s this girl I know: who can make me smile just by being.

8. Once, at a bar: I was surprised with a job offer and I took it.

9. By noon, I’m usually: hopelessly behind.

10. Last night: I was time-warped into Mad Men and attended a bridge party.

11. If only I had: never injured my back.

12. Next time I go to church: will be for a funeral.

13. What worries me most: is the fear of dying like my mother.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a calender.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a small sculpture.

16. You know I’m lying when: I dunno. You tell me.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: my waist.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: the narrator.

19. By this time next year: I expect I still won’t know where my next job is coming from.

20. A better name for me would be: Flux

21. I have a hard time understanding: French, which makes life in Montreal a tad difficult.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll be giving the lecture.

23. You know I like you if: we move beyond small talk.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the judges.

25. Take my advice: most of it can be ignored.

26. My ideal breakfast is: two hours long.

27. A song I love but do not have is:What’s Going On

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: call me because you’ll need a place to sleep.

29. Why won’t people: see beyond their noses.

30. If you spend a night at my house: you will get only the best because I love being a hostess.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: nothing. It’s already happened.

32. The world could do without: skunks

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do latrine duty.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: dogs.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: self-improvement books.

36. If I do anything well it’s: because I love doing it.

37. I can’t help but: think there’s more.

38. I usually cry: at schlocky, manipulative Hollywood moments involving animals.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: don’t take yourself so seriously.

40. And by the way: cake and coffee always helps.

2. Never in my life: have I held a spider in my bare hands.

3. When I was five: I adored school

4. High school was: scared
5. I will never forget: seeing a kitten crumple under a lorry’s wheels wishing I had the maturity to prevent it. I was too young to take responsibility and regret it.

6. Once I met: a black jazz man who was amazing and who moved me and whose name I forgot!

7. There’s this girl I know: who is brilliant and a tortured soul who I wish would just be happy.

8. Once, at a bar: I made a bit of a twat of myself

9. By noon, I’m wanting a nap!

10. Last night: I agreed to go on a date. I’m frightened about that today!

11. If only I had: been braver

12. Next time I go to church: I’ll sing my socks off!

13. What worries me most: is that they’ll take it all away from me.

14. When I turn my head left I see: = a pink raffia parasol and a line full of my washing!

15. When I turn my head right I see: sleepy dogs and my father reclined on his sofa.

16. You know I’m lying when: I’m obvious

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: nothing at all

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Cordelia

19. By this time next year: I’m going to be happy and free

20. A better name for me would be: scatty but means well

21. I have a hard time understanding:people
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be brlliant or dismal

23. You know I like you if: I can talk to you. Unless I really like you, and then I can’t. Or if can be funny with you. YES!

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the judges. Then I’d apologise. I’d try not to grin so as not to appear smug!

25. Take my advice, never: befriend people who are wankers!

26. My ideal breakfast is: croissants, bonne maman jam and tea

27. A song I love but do not have is: little white bull!

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: go down to church end and be amazed by it’s natural beauty
29. Why won’t people: treat each other like human beings?

30. If you spend a night at my house: never ever judge me

31. I’d stop my wedding for: divine intervention. Nothing less. Even if I don’t believe – it’d have to be ‘that good’
32. The world could do without: money

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be nipped by a rainbeetle (in public)

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are me!

35. Paper clips are more useful than: hole punches

36. If I do anything well it’s: probably a fluke. yep!

37. I can’t help but: break things!

38. I usually cry: often
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: do your best and be kind

40. And by the way: I am holding back the whole time!

Sam – Are you suggesting the idea of a This Is This breakfast? Joking aside (you were joking, right?) I make some great pancakes.

Thanks for the comments all – Welcome N. Thanks Mike and Gordon for doing this on your links and the links. Kathryn – Falstaff is mine too. Did you know Shakespeare invented the word “lonely”? Good luck Miss T – thanks. Nice going Ed.

2. Never in my life: will I trust any one

3. When I was five: I cauised worldwide flooding. Or so I thought.

4. High school was: very very hard and boring

5. I will never forget: my first cell phone

6. Once I met: a mountain lion on a dark city street.

7. There’s this girl I know:I know more than one

8. Once, at a bar: Never at a bar

9. By noon, I’m usually: hungry and sleepy

10. Last night: was hot and stuffy in my bedroom

11. If only I had: alot of money

12. Next time I go to church: will be Sunday

13. What worries me most: is the fear of dying early

14. When I turn my head left I see: a wall.

15. When I turn my head right I see: another wall.

16. You know I’m lying when: I tell you.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: peace

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: I forgot the characters

19. By this time next year: everythign will have changed- or it will all be the same only different, or maybe just the same with a different job.

20. A better name for me would be: I love my name and there isnt any better name.

21. I have a hard time understanding: myself sometimes

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: re-take math starting from the 1st grade

23. You know I like you if: I tell you

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: GOD

25. Take my advice: always

26. My ideal breakfast is: everything my grandmother cooks

27. A song I love but do not have is:You name it, I probably don’t have it but love it.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: dress for hot weather.

29. Why won’t people: stop being nosey

30. If you spend a night at my house: you can sleep late if you want.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: a tornado

32. The world could do without: high priced gas

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lick the belly of a dog

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: unknown to me.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: staples

36. If I do anything well it’s: talking

37. I can’t help but: eat

38. I usually cry: when iI feel guilty

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: don’t do what I did!

40. And by the way: Im only doing this cause im bored

2. Never in my life: will I judge another person without knowing all the facts.

3. When I was five: I moved to Malvern, Pennsylvania and met an odd British kid.

4. High school was: better in my memory as I get older.

5. I will never forget: my first real kiss (7th grade school dance).

6. Once I met: my wife, I knew I was hooked for life.

7. There’s this girl I know: who is crazy attractive but can’t get a boyfriend, which goes to show you that looks aren’t everything.

8. Once, at a bar: I stole a picture off the wall and tried to run out, but was caught right outside the door.

9. By noon, I’m usually: at the gym.

10. Last night: was difficult but ultimately fun.

11. If only I had: matured earlier in life.

12. Next time I go to church: will be this Sunday.

13. What worries me most: is my children resenting me someday.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a wall calendar.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a picture of the 2007 (American) Football Champs, the New York Giants.

16. You know I’m lying when: I talk too much.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the fun music.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Mercutio.

19. By this time next year: I will have a new baby.

20. A better name for me would be: Maximus Decimus Meridius (not really, but I just love that movie)

21. I have a hard time understanding: economics and geopolitics

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: wonder how I lost the bet that got me here…

23. You know I like you if: I keep the conversation going.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my wife and children.

25. Take my advice, never: take the important things in life for granted.

26. My ideal breakfast is: cream chipped beef over toast and homefries.

27. A song I love but do not have is: East River by the Brecker Brothers.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: drive on the right side (that’s for you British types).

29. Why won’t people: be more respectful of others?

30. If you spend a night at my house: you will be forced to stay up late and drink wine with me.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: bzzzzz — too late, question cannot be answered.

32. The world could do without: all the angry people.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have a coackroach crawl across my belly.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: the really good-looking ones.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: staples.

36. If I do anything well it’s: probably by accident.

37. I can’t help but: bite my nails sometimes.

38. I usually cry: at the end of ‘Field of Dreams’.

39. My advice to my children: Love what you do, and do it well.

40. And by the way: this was really freaking hard..

Oh alright then.

2. Never in my life: will I be truly comfortable.

3. When I was five: I cauised worldwide flooding. Or so I thought.

4. High school was: a very, very long time ago.

5. I will never forget: my surprise at how much it hurt.

6. Once I met: a mountain lion on a dark city street.

7. There’s this girl I know: – well, ok, she’s a woman now…

8. Once, at a bar: I lit my moustache on fire with a flaming shot.

9. By noon, I’m usually: bored to death.

10. Last night: was cool in the garage for once.
11. If only I had: thought of others.

12. Next time I go to church: will probably be for one of my parent’s funeral services. Or a wedding.

13. What worries me most: is my impending unemployment. I have no reserves and few job prospects.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a cubilce cabinet.

15. When I turn my head right I see: a cubicle corner.

16. You know I’m lying when: I tell you.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the girls!

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Puck, probably.

19. By this time next year: everythign will have changed- or it will all be the same only different, or maybe just the same with a different job.

20. A better name for me would be: Unreached Potential

21. I have a hard time understanding: and a harder time listening

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: learn to read properly.

23. You know I like you if: I call you!

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: my parents!

25. Take my advice, never: take my advice.

26. My ideal breakfast is: a late lunch

27. A song I love but do not have is:You name it, I probably don’t have it but love it.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: dress for hot weather.

29. Why won’t people: play nice?

30. If you spend a night at my house: you can sleep late if you want.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: a darn good reason.

32. The world could do without: about two thirds of its population.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: lose my vision.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: unknown to me.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: a poke in the eye.

36. If I do anything well it’s: a mystery to me.

37. I can’t help but: wonder.

38. I usually cry: at the drop of a hat. I’m a wimp.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: don’t do what I did!

40. And by the way: that’s not coffee you’re drinking.