You Asked For It – Manners

anna Says:

August 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am e

84! 84!

What do you think are some good manners?
Having good manners is a way of showing you care about others.

What do you think are some bad manners?
If you eat like a slob and act like you really don’t care how you act, then it shows you don’t care for what I think of you or anything else. It’s an arrogance, and one I feel I want to punish. My biggest fallings out with anyone been over bad manners – the things where I have said “You shouldn’t do that shit, but since you do, you’re not going to do it around me of to me and I will not let it affect the people I care about.”

Can you think of some good manners that are bad manners in another country?
It’s partly a cultural thing, like how in France it’s rude to put your hands in your lap while you are sitting at the table, and in the UK it’s rude to have your hands on the table. My parents drilled the hands in the lap thing into me and either they were old fashioned or people just don’t do that any more. I have never seen any other parents tell their kids to keep their hands in their lap when they are not eating.

What are the titles of some books on manners? Have you ever read them?
I have read How To Talk Dirty And Influence People by Lenny Bruce, but it’s more a memoir than an actually book about manners. A lot of books on Buddhism I have read are essential about good manners. The Eightfold Path is essentially about how to behave in a way which benefits others and ultimately (and therefore) frees you from suffering. Right speech, right mind, right action, right intention – but actual books on manners, no, not especially.

What are some good manners for using a cell phone?
Right – keep it quiet. Don’t swear. Don’t gossip. Just consider that there are people around you. And don’t shout!!!! People in the whitest coats known to man have spent years developing microphones that work when they are half an in from your mouth.

What are some good table manners?
Don’t chew with your mouth open. This is the absolute worst one. I don’t want to see it, I don’t want to hear it, and I like you less as a person, no matter what you stand for if you eat with your mouth open.

What are some good party manners?
Pour the first drink, then tell people where the drinks are.

Is kissing in public good manners?
Yeah, I think so, as long as it stays to kissing. Except for ugly people. What?

Do you say “hi” to people even if they are strangers? Why? Why not?
Yes if it would be rude not to. So if you’re on a pathway and you’re walking towards someone for ages and you finally pass them, then I’d say a little hello. I think it’s if you’re sharing something. If it’s raining and you run to shelter and someone’s there. If it’s a quiet morning and there’s no one else around. If it’s a quiet night and there’s no one else around, I might keep it to myself.

Do you listen to other’s people conversations on the street?
Oh god yes. I like to write and I enjoy words so I like listening to how people use them. A schoolgirl trying to be hard says to her mate: “I was like: If you’re going to chat shit to me, don’t chat shit to me with a smiley face, right?” – that is priceless.

Do you think it is good manners to hug or kiss another person in greeting?
Depends on the person, but yeah, it’s fine.

Do you let people pass you when you are driving in your car? Is it considered a good manner?
I let people filter in and stuff, or get themselves out of a bad situation into my one if it’s not so bad. I also use my manners, too, and weigh up whether I’m inconveniencing anyone else by my being helpful.

Do you honk your horn to people when you drive?
Sometimes in anger, yes, but rarely, because that’s rude to every else within earshot. I will show them I’m pissed off, though.

Do people have more manners now or in earlier times?
A lot of the old manners would be nonsense today, but out of the context they seem very polite, if you consider politeness as putting yourself out for others.

Can manners affect your success in life? How?
I think people like being around people who are considerate and that carries on throughout relationships and your career.

What’s the best way to teach manners to children?
Explain the benefits and let them see it for themselves, but point it out every now and then.

What culture do you think is the most polite? Explain.
I think the Japanese are very polite in that they respect their elders, but they make noise when they eat and they don’t blow their noses. I guess it’s impossible to answer because it’s such a cultural thing.

What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who would like to show good manners?
Don’t stand at the top of escalators.

What things about manners in the USA do you find difficult to adjust to?
Not ignoring people, like we do here.

Is there anything about manners in the USA that you prefer to manners in your country?
I like the way people ask how you are even if they don’t know you. I love that, and I do it for a bit when I come back home and get some strange looks before I think: “Oh, I see, we’re supposed to not give a shit. I get it. We’re English. Silly me.”