Karma Comedian
September 11, 2008
A couple of weeks ago I went to a temple (click photo for larger pic). I stuck some money in a prayer box there. It might not be called a “prayer box”, but what do I know? I took a piece of paper out anyway and took off the rubber band to reveal an awful sight.
Number 47. Chicken with lemon sauce.
No, only joking.
What? Come on. You’re no better than me. That was funny.
Ladies? GSOH, right? Fine. Please yourselves, but in five years’ time I’ll be the type of guy you settle for.
OK, seriously.
Number 47. Probability of Success: Poor
The world is full of traps
Which cause many mishaps.
So far fine. It’s a limerick, I thought. It goes on.
Don’t sail and get aground,
Nor run circling around.
Hang on. That’s pretty awful. No only do I get a bad tiding, but you wrap it in a terrible poem and charge me money for it. Thanks Buddha. Thanks a fuckload. And all I’ve done for you. No, that’s fine, you just sit there.
See, they should have made more effort.
“Why wasn’t my life so much gooder?”
Said the man as he pummelled the Buddha,
who said: “That’s just it,
your life’s turned out shit
’cause you didn’t do right when you coulda.”
That’s what you need. That’s some chancey material. You have a grin and you learn something, instead of being left with in an inauspicious cycle, not to mention a bad mood.
So here’s where you come in. I’m thinking I can jinx this by putting it up here. You know how if you have something good coming you don’t want to talk about it? Like when you have a job interview and you killed, you absolutely stomped it, but you say nothing because you don’t want to jinx it? Well, this is the reverse jinx.
By telling everyone here about my slim chances of success, I’m actually improving my chances with the reverse jinx.
See, religion’s easy.
Tomorrow: I’ll have what Jihad.
12 comments
Thanks Buddha. Thanks a fuckload. And all I’ve done for you. No, that’s fine, you just sit there.
I believe the phrase is “lmao”.
Last line is genius. That is all.
Katy – I’m LOLing you into a false sense of security.
Thanks Jonners. Bless you.
I’m off to email this to my Religious Studies teaching husband. He’ll love it (and probably stick it in the curriculum somewhere…)
Thanks Misssy – and welcome. Anything to help raise educational standards.
Raise?
I’d stick with the fortune cookies, at least you get a meal out of it.
Agree with Jonners. *giggle*
When I travelled round India, I found they got a little obsessed with weighing. In fact the upmarket begger if not yet a shoe shiner would cart around a pair of scales so you could check your weight every street corner. There were varieties of machines, and THE best was one I found outside the cinema in Dehli. A mansized contraption with much gold and glitter and shiny bits, bulbs and fancy decoration. I stood on it entered my rupees and wow, floorshow. Lights flashed sirens wailed horns honked music blared in true old fairground style.. look EVERYONE woman getting weighed.
A little piece of card popped out the side after abou three minutes of drama.
The card on one side had my weight, and on the other a fortune:
“Your life is boring, join a circus”.
A great story. Thanks Honey.
Sam – true. I couldn’t put it better.
Cheers Kathryn.
Ed – what?
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Leave a comment. Play nice. I will turn this blog around.