The Guy

Arguments then:
Her: You never call, you don’t write, blahblahblah.
Him: I’ve been very busy.

Arguments now:
Her: You never answer emails, you don’t update your twitter status, you’re not on facebook, you don’t IM.
Him: I’m quite rude and lazy.

Commuter rage this morning again, I’m afraid. A guy comes up and sits opposite me. The train isn’t that busy, but it’s a free country.

He sits for a second, then the turns and tries to open the window behind him, which he can’t do because he has to operate both latches. So he walks to the seats behind him and then opens the window before coming back.

FAIL 1: Going over to someone else’s part of the train to open their window so you can get some breeze where you are sitting. When it’s raining. In late September.

Then he comes back and sits down, leaning forward, so the high edge of his paper is leaning over the top of my laptop screen. Not a lot, but leaning over my screen anyway.

FAIL 2: Being an asshole.

I look at him and he turns the page and the paper goes back to resting on my screen as I write this.

Then.

He.

Starts.

Chewing.

Gum.

Mouth open, legs apart, paper on my screen, sitting in the breeze of someone else’s cold front, chewing.

FAIL 3: Being a cunt.

I get up and move to the seat behind him. Between stations. Say something. Go on, motherfucker, say something and I’ll ask you where I should start.

I want them to say something. Like the time I spoke to that guy. It was because he said something.

But they rarely do, because they don’t give a shit about how they act. I’m not about to go up to someone and tell them how they are rude, but if you ask, I’ll aim to please.

I don’t like being the angry guy. I don’t sit down to write ranting posts. We’re better than this. But when I sit down to write, I rarely know what I’m going to say, but then some fuckmunch sits down and it’s all I can think about.

I want to be the guy who writes about temples and poems and does video posts with the greatest dog in the world, who kills you with cute then makes you laugh, who talks about therapy, who puts up noise of air conditioners because they sound good and we don’t know why, who not only found his game but shouted down from the top of it to ask what you wanted and then did it and it’s like magic because we expected one thing and got something better.

I want to be the guy who took the time.

And we nearly had it this week apart from one inconsiderate person.

Go on, get out of here. Thanks for stopping by – it’s been a sensation.

Have a great weekend.